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The Septic Touch
Let’s call it the Septic Touch. When King Midas touched things, they turned to gold. When you touch anything at the poker table, it turns to … well, we all know what septic tanks hold. So you’re in the throes of a big downswing, huh? I’m not talking about having just lost a couple of buy-ins to a donkfish or being just below break-even for the month. I mean a vicious, profound, sustained series of losses.
Let’s run through a few of your options:
1) Stop playing. This one is tough to beat for its simple logic. I guarantee that you will stop losing money playing poker if you stop playing poker. But then what would you do with those extra fifty three hours a week? Go to the local museum? Read a book? Make new friends and attend new social events? C’mon, all that stuff is for wimps.
2) Fling yourself off the nearest overpass. Again, another guaranteed stop loss, but seriously, folks, if you did anything but chuckle when you read this option, please seek immediate, professional help.
3) Drop a level or two and play with the fishies until you recover your mojo. This used to be my favorite approach until my latest experience, when I dropped to a Mickey Mouse level and got my head handed to me repeatedly by the resident maniacs-who-always-make-their-gutshot-straights-on-the-river-because-they-could-just-
“feel”-the-card-coming.
So, what’s the solution? Well, I don’t have one. What did you expect? This is a free blog! However, I do have an intriguing idea to put forth: what if your favorite online poker site (hint: its initials are FTP) hosted a “Running Bad No-Limit Hold’Em” table? The blinds could be something reasonable, like $1/$2, and you would only be eligible to play if you had sustained some objectively measured loss (in relation to your normal playing level) over the past two weeks. Ineligible players would not even be able to view the table or its players. Naturally, Full Tilt Poker would show compassion by not taking a rake.
Mathematically, some of these players must emerge as winners, thus putting an official end to their losing streak (and, sadly, disqualifying them from the table). As for those who continue to lose and lose at the losers’ table? Well, you may want to review item #1 above. I hear books and museums can be quite nice …
