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I’m taking a very short break from my proofreading. I have to send the completely proofread galley pages of The Full Tilt Poker Strategy Guide – Tournament Edition to Warner Books in 15 1/2 hours. I have completed only 20% of the job in the nearly two weeks since I received them. Good thing for me that the executive turmoil within the publishing industry has made it extremely unlikely that anybody in a position of responsibility is reading this blog.

Several short matters of note, and I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m tooting my own horn, or Full Tilt’s. I’m just calling them as I see them:

1. I’ve been trying out MyWebATM and ePassporte and they seem just like NETeller. I haven’t compared fees, either with each other or with NETeller’s structure, but I made small deposits with both, withdrew money with both, and got it from my ATM right away with MyWebATM. (I haven’t tried that yet with ePassporte but will tomorrow. I’m pretty certain it will be simple; if you don’t hear from me, assume that it was.)

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Sorry for the absence over the last few days. I’ve been proofreading the galley pages of The Full Tilt Poker Strategy Guide – Tournament Edition, working on getting a new literary agent, and playing some events at the Wynn Classic in Las Vegas. I have lots to write about all these things – and I’ll get to finishing the Andy Beal-Ted Forrest notes.

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 #060   FTOPS Main Event Final Table   Part IV   The Wreck, Octo Crab, and King Jackoff (Damn You, Devil in Disguise!)In the first three parts of this series (#057, #058, and #059), I explained how super-pro/super-nice-guy Robert Williamson III, as the Texas bombshell Miss Lulu, made the final table of the FTOPS Main Event and then made it to the final four. I watched it all in his study, along with his super-nice wife Cate and real-life Texas bombshell Clonie Gowen. It’s 3 AM and play is beginning with 80,000-160,000 blinds. Please read Parts I-III.

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 #059   FTOPS Final Table   Part III   Fixin’ to RaiseParts I (#057) and II (#058) followed the final table of the FTOPS Main Event from Robert Williamson III’s study. Robert, as Miss Lulu, has maneuvered through the first three eliminations, the most recent when he limped and then folded A-Ko. Dallas maintains a running commentary, to the horror/delight of an audience of three: his wife Cate, our friend Clonie Gowen, and me. I encourage you to read the first two parts.

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 #058   FTOPS Main Event   Final Table Part II   “When I raise that many times, I don’t believe myself.”In Part I, I raced the 30 miles to Robert Williamson III’s home at 2 AM so I could watch him (a/k/a Miss Lulu) play the final table of the FTOPS Main Event. Amid connection break downs, Williamson’s reluctance to throw away a hand with a funny name, and Clonie Gowen’s attempt to take her measurements, Miss Lulu caught a little run of cards and remained in the hunt. All nine players remained as it neared 2:30 AM local time. Blinds were about to go out to 50,000-100,000. I encourage you to read Part I, which appeared as entry #057 – “The Wine and Clonie Slowed Me Down”.

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 #057   FTOPS Main Event   Final Table   Part I   “The Wine and Clonie Slowed Me Down” The gated community in which Robert Williamson III and his wife Cate live is so new that my navigation system, named Elle MacPherson because it shares an accent with the Australian supermodel, can’t find it. I am racing to watch Robert, under the nom de plume “Miss Lulu,” play the final table of the FTOPS Main Event.

It’s 2:01 AM and if my calculations are correct – and they are, because I have watched the end of almost all these tournaments – the break has just ended and ten players remain. But I have reported the end of the other events from the comfort of my office, and here I am at a neighborhood gate that is not accepting the entry code.

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At 5:16 AM EST, after over 11 hours of play, traheho won the Main Event of the third series of the FTOPS, when his A-K held up over Boosted J’s A-Q. The 15,000,000-chip pot won traheho $288,000. I will be filing a report as soon as I can about the final table from a perspective you won’t get anyplace else. I watched the final table from the home of one of participants, fourth place finisher ”Miss Lulu”.

I have composed a ditty in Miss Lulu’s honor, based on the nursery rhyme ”Miss Lucy Had a Baby.”

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The bubble recently popped in the Main Event and players have been racing for the exits. They pay 459, a level that was reached about 10 minutes ago. As I type this, there are just 371 left. There are 4 Full Tilt Poker pros still in action with 15 minutes until the break. Mark Vos is near the lead with 160,000. Paul Wolfe has 60,000. Layne Flack has 53,000. Chris Ferguson has 30,000. The average is about 45,000.

 #055   FTOPS Main Event D   Bubblicious

Chris Ferguson, tonight’s host

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It’s break time after 3 1/2 hours. There are 1,168 players left, with the average chip stack being 13,771. pcyb has the chip lead with 63,595, and four other players have over 60,000. A lot of Full Tilt Poker pros are in a position to do damage. Mark ”Gable” Vos leads the pros with 34,000. Aaron ”Crazy Eyes” Bartley, Lynette ”Ice Woman” Chan, and Jeff … uh ”The Kid” Madsen have around 25,000. Layne Flack has 20,000. Chris Ferguson, tonight’s host, has 11,000 but is always dangerous. David Grey, Ben Roberts, Paul Wolfe, Allen Cunningham, and Toto Leonidas all have chips.

Of course, my charming – and charmed – buddy Clonie is right in the thick of it, too.

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 #053   FTOPS Main Event B   “I missed sympathy and love.”We’re at the first break in the Main Event. I have 4,465 chips. Clonie has 6,230. I’m trying to figure out the reason for the disparity. ”Clonie, I’ve seen 25% of the flops. That’s not too many, is it?” She checked her stats: 9%.

There are 2,812 players left with an averageof 5,720 chips. The leader has 22,000. Toto Leonidas is the only Full Tilt Poker pro over 10,000.

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