FULL TILT POKER BLOG

#133 – FTOPS 4 – I feel like Clonie Gowen just had bad sex

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I sat behind Clonie Gowen when she played Kristy Gazes in the first round of the NBC Heads-Up Championship back in March. The match was much anticipated (as much as something can be anticipated in the short period between the pairings party and the match itself) because both were women, both attractive, both friends, and both affiliated with Full Tilt. They even upped the stakes by buying identical pairs of Jimmy Chu high-heels after the pairings party and declaring that the loser had to pay, or pay for the winner’s next pair.

Clonie was feeling good about the state of her game, and she tends to shine when the spotlight is on. So it was disheartening when nothing went right in the match against Kristy. Gazes played great, both in that match and throughout the Heads-Up Championship, but she was also foiling Clonie with good cards. When Clonie made a move, Kristy had a hand. When Clonie had a hand, Kristy had a better one. Gowen was immediately behind, the margin soon became large, and the match was quickly over. The disappointment was evident on Clonie’s face when I approached her a moment later.

“I feel like I just had bad sex.”

Now I know what she meant.

Until the final three events of this FTOPS, I’m in and out of town, in and out of poker, and in and out of the coverage. I didn’t know what I was doing while covering the last FTOPS, so I tried to do EVERYTHING. I feel like the entries during that period were very good. Unfortunately, for this FTOPS, (a) I still don’t know what I’m doing, and (b) I’m not around enough during the first seven events to blanket the tournaments with posts in hopes something will be good.

FTOPS #4 was my first chance to set that right. I missed ##2 and 3, so I felt obliged to spend $1,060 – actually $1,276 when you add my unsuccessful turbo-sat entry – to report from the inside. I feel I’m a good enough player to potentially get value out of the expenditure, but my online bankroll really isn’t big enough to drop a grand as a matter of routine. In addition, I wanted to actually ACCOMPLISH something in one of these things.

Everything went wrong, all the time.

I put together a brief entry describing my excitement at the beginning, both in being able to play and in the tremendous reception players have been giving the events. I had computer problems on my main computer but the wizards at Full Tilt had successfully advised me on how to access the blogging page. I had nearly completed the entry when #4 began.

905 entries, a prize pool over $900,000, first prize over $200,000. Lots of big names among the Full Tilt pros and the successful tournament regulars.

Then I lost 400 chips on the second hand. And another 600 a few hands later. Then when I went to post that entry (#133), it would save but not post to the internet. I had succeeded in getting INTO my blog but I couldn’t get OUT.

I envisioned posting throughout the night – hopefully as a participant – and instead of dashing off my first real-time impressions, I was screaming at my computer and sending off frantic e-mails. And within a few more minutes, I was down to 1,300 of my 3,000 starting chips.

Maybe I didn’t have it as bad as David Chiu, was finished 905th out of 905, or Barny Boatman, who finished 901. But if they didn’t have their blogging plans blow up in their faces, I think I could make a case that I was a bigger loser.

The event was a tremendous struggle. Every time I put a chip in the pot, someone insisted I put them all in. And this was happening with me playing far fewer hands that I normally play. Just surviving to the first break was a triumph. Just before the second break, I began to see daylight. I was within double-up range of the chip average, with pocket aces and a sucker in the pot. The other player had limped and called my pre-flop raise. The board was so unthreatening that their only chance – no flush draws or straight draws possible except gutshots, and the cards spaced so two-pair was extremely unlikely – was flopping a set. I bet out (it was my big blind). Half my chips were in the pot. Even a fold was good but I thought maybe the other player, who I felt was toying with me all night, was going to push.

Then one of my kids stepped across the warren of cords on the other side of my desk and the internet went out.

I tried every possible combination of unplugging and rebooting, but our home was still without internet access when I left for New York this morning. I moved to a second computer, plugged in my Verizon Wireless card (which I had spent a fair amount of the day arming with the card’s software, since the second computer is a brand new Vista machine and the old software for the card wouldn’t run on it), and signed back in.

We were on break and I had half the chips I started that hand with, just 1,500. My sucker had apparently pushed and I, being absent, timed out and folded.

Even though I told Jo Anne, “There’s no way I’m not tilting,” I played smart. I got all my chips in with J-J and doubled up. Then I got lucky, when I was all-in with A-Q and ran into A-K and 3-3. The board double-paired and me and A-K shared 3-3′s chips.

Then my one-week old $2,000 computer and $60 per month Verizon card cut out.

I pulled a third computer out of storage and got the Verizon card working on it. Maybe my play at this time became a little ragged, but I also ran into a big hand every time I committed some chips. My A-T ran into A-A. With T-Js, I ran into K-K. I actually flopped an open-ended straight flush draw, but none of the draws came in.

I don’t even remember how I went out. I know I pushed all-in with A-4 and the other player had A-K or a big pair. I aided my own demise, but I honestly didn’t think I would run into such big hands in such a short period of time, especially when I started with with half the average stack and got even lower with each defeat.

If someone asks me who won, I’m going to say, “A poker player with a good internet connection.”

For some insane reason, I decided what I needed to get out of my funk was to enter another tournament. Jo Anne questioned this as I signed up moments before the $200 + $16 Bracelet Race began. I left my computer (my third of the night) to calmly discuss this with her during the first five minutes of the event. “I just need to put that experience behind me. Obviously, if I lose half my chips in the first 15 minutes, I’ll be a maniac, but that won’t happen. I’m not even playing the first 5 minutes and I’m going to play conservative, use my play to calm myself down, and be there for the long haul.”

I didn’t lose half my chips in the first 15 minutes. I did it in 10 minutes, and that’s with sitting out the first 5 hands. I called a pre-flop raise from the big blind and hit top pair. I check-raised and was called. I bet the turn and was called. When an overcard hit on the river, I checked and the original raiser moved all-in. I folded, then he showed his bluff and crowed about it.

And then there was a guy on rail playing at another table to reminded me he was still mad at me for a bad beat I put him on during some earlier Bracelet Race. Strange as it sounds, conversing with this guy calmed me down.

“Bad beat huh? Doesn’t ring a bell. I put bad beats on lotsa guys.”

He spewed some more, so I asked, “Was that this year or last year?”

Finally, I apologized for not remembering better “but maybe we can get at the same table and I can give you another ‘hickey’.”

I hung on. I didn’t go on tilt. Finally, after nearly 3 hours, I got ABOVE the average chip stack. There were 20 to go, and 8 got the $2,000 package. I even beat Mr. Hickey out of a big pot when he failed to draw out with A-Q against my pocket pair.

One player kept raising my blind and nothing seemed to stop him. I re-raised him with pocket deuces – a big raise – and he called. Then he pushed in after the flop. The next time, I flat-called him with Q-J.

The flop was Q-4-2. I checked. He checked.

The turn was a 6. I checked again. He bet. I put in a big raise and, as I expected, he pushed all-in. I called.

He had 6-7. Then he hit a 6 on the river and I was out in 18th place.

I didn’t even feel bad about it. I played it exactly the way I wanted to and that turned out to be the right way. A guy’s going to hit his 10% shot sometimes. You just want to do all you can to get him to put in all his chips when his chances are only 10%.

But still, it was a crummy night from start to finish.

Tonight’s FTOPS #5 is hosted by David Grey, $200 + $16 HOSE. I wish I could play it but I’m in New York to attend a pair of events celebrating the publication of Anthony Holden’s BIGGER DEAL, the long awaited sequel to his classic BIG DEAL, which launched thousands of poker careers, mine included. Tony’s a friend, plus I’m featured in the book, plus he did friendship duty when I spoke at Yale (an experience he duly described in BIGGER DEAL), so it’s my pleasure. Finally, Tony called me the other day telling me something bad happened to the computer he brought over from England, and could I help by bringing him a replacement. Of course I said yes.

That was before I realized that I have a houseful of computers to unload.

I shall report on the Holden events and, if I can, a little on the next three FTOPS. And I’ll be home for the last three, if I can find a computer with internet access.

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