#329 – The Winners of the “Michael Craig is Giving it Away” Contest are …

Judging this contest was a chore. I loved reading your submissions but hated judging them. There were over 120 entries, from Marines about to be deployed to a guy living in his brother’s shed. Approaches varied from poems to bad beat stories (including stories where I was the culprit) to parodied dialogue from 2001 – A SPACE ODYSSEY.

The two winners are …

sammyorb

TedForrestFan

Sammy, Theresa: congratulations! You are playing Event #1 on Wednesday night. To follow your play and report on the event, I’m not going to play this one. I’ll be writing about it during (I hope) and after (for sure).

To everyone else, thank you for participating. I’ll be posting, in addition to the winning entries, some of the close contenders and portions of “others”. Your spirit, willingness to take a chance and put something out there, and openness and/or imagination are much appreciated by me. I could have easily defended running this contest with at least 5 winners – and maybe more.

THE WINNERS – SAMMY

Sammy sent two entries and the first was completely and thoroughly unremarkable. I feel comfortable calling this one of the worst entries:

As an amateur, I am a risk, sometimes to my bankroll, sometimes to other people’s bankroll. But as the saying goes, “without risk, there can be no reward.” In poker, and in life, we all have to take some risks. Gamble and hope that gamble pays off. I am your risk . Your reward: Yet to be seen. Only time and the cards will tell. Take a chance on me, and I will reward you.

The only good thing about this entry is that it’s short. Six days later, however, he hit a home run in the humor category. As I post the other winner and write about the contenders and all the other entries, I’ll put them in general categories: humor/imagination, barter, hardship, bad beat, college, charity, etc.

Here is his winning entry:

Michael,

Please save me. I need rescuing. Every Tuesday and Wednesday, I have to watch American Idol with my wife. I do it because I know she likes it. But I just can’t take it. All the bad singers, Simon, and the rest of that crap. I love my wife, but I need a reason to get out of having to watch it. Please help me. Give me a reason to not have to watch for at least one night. And if I win, it will guarantee that I play other events and get saved from watching more of that show.

Sincerely,

sammymorb
There were entries that had the same idea, that being able to play the event would excuse them from some odious function. There were entries with more humor. I enjoyed them all and will share portions of them in (I hope) my next post. But Sammy struck a great balance between a funny idea and a simple presentation.

THE WINNERS – THERESA

Theresa (TedForrestFan) runs, as her name suggests, a Ted Forrest fan site. We have never met or spoken on the phone but our mutual interest in Ted Forrest has put us in e-mail contact on a few occasions since the publication of SUICIDE KING in June 2005.

I would categorize Theresa’s entry as “barter.”

Hello,

There is no good reason to stake me. I am not a very good tournament player, but I have to put my name in the hat. Besides the fact that I have a very cool screen name, I also happen to look a lot like the redheaded avatar on Full Tilt. I could play wearing my bikini top (yes I have a webcam). I think you are a fantastic author and will tell people at my table so as often as I can. I will also send you more cookies… lots more cookies. I will sing your praises on my blog, where both my readers are sure to see it.

Thank you for your consideration,

Theresa aka TedForrestFan

This is what I know about Theresa:

*She is not stalking Ted Forrest. As far as I can tell, she’s a normal, rational person whose hobby is following Ted Forrest’s tournament poker career. I collect photos of famous people you wouldn’t expect to see in a photo together (e.g., Elvis & Nixon, Ali & the Beatles, Lou Gehrig & the Marx Brothers) and Theresa collects Ted Forrest stories. Heck, I collect Ted Forrest stories.

*Ted is familiar with her site and hasn’t met her but does not regard her as a stalker.

*She tipped me off to one of my favorite Ted Forrest stories (though almost all of my Ted Forrest stories could qualify as “favorite”). She e-mailed me a couple years back about a rumor she heard that Ted won Larry Flynt’s car, decorated with naked women painted on the exterior, in a poker game. It turns out the rumor had a grain of truth: Ted BOUGHT the car because Larry wanted him to buy it, and the women have tulips in strategic places.

*She mailed my family cookies after I wrote about the outpouring of support (and food) following Jo Anne’s cancer surgery in August. The cookies arrived while I was in London for WSOP-E, however, and my kids devoured them like starving wolves, not even leaving a note so I could thank her for her generosity. It was only when, not hearing anything from me for several weeks, she inquired about whether I ever received the cookies. An interrogation revealed they were received and delicious.

We haven’t met but we have some history. Though I said I could pick whoever I wanted for whatever reason I wanted, you should know that it was not our prior “relationship” that motivated me. Because I have communicated with her a few times in the past, I have some trust that she’ll be a cooperative and thoughtful winner and correspondent, but there wasn’t anyone I seriously considered who I thought I couldn’t trust.

So I sold out half the contest for some cleavage (which I’ll share) and some cookies (which I’ll be lucky to pry away from my thieving children). I think we’ll get a good report on the event from Theresa.

COMING UP LATER

*A runner-up award – I’ve already contacted him so don’t falsely get your hopes up.

*The other contenders.

*The funny, strange, sad, twisted life of the amateur on Full Tilt.