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#341 – “Michael Craig is Giving it Away” – The Contenders
Before choosing Theresa (TedForrestFan) and Sal (sammymorb), as well as Andrew (Julius_Goat) as my runner-up, I narrowed down the 120+ entries to 10. I’d like to share with you the entries that came close. I hope to be able to make a separate post (and soon!) of some interesting things I saw in the other entries.
REMEMBER THE WINNERS
This was the winning entry of Theresa:
Hello,
There is no good reason to stake me. I am not a very good tournament player, but I have to put my name in the hat. Besides the fact that I have a very cool screen name, I also happen to look a lot like the redheaded avatar on Full Tilt. I could play wearing my bikini top (yes I have a webcam). I think you are a fantastic author and will tell people at my table so as often as I can. I will also send you more cookies… lots more cookies. I will sing your praises on my blog, where both my readers are sure to see it.
Thank you for your consideration,
Theresa aka TedForrestFan
This is the winning entry of Sal:
Michael,
Please save me. I need rescuing. Every Tuesday and Wednesday, I have to watch American Idol with my wife. I do it because I know she likes it. But I just can’t take it. All the bad singers, Simon, and the rest of that crap. I love my wife, but I need a reason to get out of having to watch it. Please help me. Give me a reason to not have to watch for at least one night. And if I win, it will guarantee that I play other events and get saved from watching more of that show.
Sincerely,
sammymorb
This is the runner-up entry of Andrew (though his award is really for his entire body of entries, which are contained in #336:
Top 10 Reasons To Back Julius_Goat
10. I have three WSOP bracelets. Well, no, just one. That is to say, I’ve worn one once. That is to say, I’ve seen somebody wearing one. That is, I’ve seen a picture of somebody wearing one. That is to say, I’ve heard of bracelets.
9. I don’t wear shades at the computer. That’s got to count for something.
8. I can bend spoons (but not with my mind).
7. My favorite poker movie is “McCabe & Mrs. Miller”
6. I put the “odd” in “Pot Odds.”
5. I’m a lot like Andy Beal, by which I mean: My name is Andy.
4. I can bench-press Mike Matusow.
3. I don’t call off my stack preflop with Ace Jack offsuit.
2. I don’t tilt. Wait, are we talking about pinball?
1. If it weren’t for skill, I’d win them all.
Give it away, give it away, give it away now . . .
SEMPER FI
Two contenders were Marines about to deploy to Afghanistan. Juan wrote a pleasant entry but it was Colin’s that really moved me. It stated as follows:
I just want to start off by saying that I am a huge fan of your blog and a loyal reader as well. I pass most of my long days at work by keeping up with your life and the life of the Full Tilt Pros through your blog. I am a United States Marine.
I have a soft spot for anyone who is willing to neglect their job to read about my many (four) wins in the Turbo Hundo and Ted Forrest’s cars. But Holy Cow! I didn’t think I was potentially weakening our nation’s defense by providing amusing little poker stories.
I wish success and safety to all members of our armed services. Keep out of harm’s way guys; we want you back and not just because you have money on the site.
PLAY WITH MY WIFE
I became friends with JR through numerous unusual means. JR plays on Full Tilt and read SUICIDE KING. He was also friends with a guy who used to date – at least it was “used to” when it was relevant to me – Dana, my beautiful and charming upstairs condo neighbor who I ludicrously tried fixing up with Richard Brodie last year. (I say ludicrously because there’s no taming a lion, not even a “quiet” one.) JR briefly had a website selling poker-theme art and I did a book signing at his book at the 2006 WSOP. Through these many connections we’ve been in touch and talked at length about poker. It was not of consequence (until the contest at least) yet I could not ignore that JR recently married Anna, a really nice, very smart, and extremely attractive Russian woman.
JR, a winning player in 45- and 90-player SnGs, offered in his entry to donate all winnings to charity and make a fun night of it for the both of us. Anna would prepare an authentic Russian feast and he would break open some rare Russian vodka. I could watch his tournament experience in person and he also welcomed me to “play with my wife.”
I’m a happily married man but I’m not made of stone. I met Anna on just two occasions but in my mind’s eye, she resembles Anna Kournikova, but taller and with nicer hair.
Before I could delve into this possibility – which, at a minimum, would require legal clearance from Full Tilt’s battalion of attorneys and some excuse better than “I’m goin’ out for a pack of smokes” for my wife – JR sent me a clarifying e-mail. He had originally typed “play with my WIFI” but the Richard Brodie-invented correcting mechanism – that red squiggle that jerks the spell-checker into gear – changed “WIFI” to “wife.” So instead of offering me a chance to share an internet connection to play the tournament together, he inadvertently dangled perestroika before me.
It’s hard to say who was more sorry for the misunderstanding. The typo made him a contender, but the bounds of propriety kept him out of the winners circle.
DETROIT ROCK CITY
I was born and raised in the Detroit area and, as I tell people, it’s a nice play to come FROM. I am, however, not deaf to the pleas of those I’ve left behind. Add to that the sickness of a degenerate gambler and Kelly almost had me hooked:
I am from Hazel Park, Michigan, a mile from Detroit. I’m a 24 year old male. I think you should back me because I have been working 40 hour weeks to bring home $200 or less at times, while spending $250 a weak [not a typo] at Full Tilt. Still trying to win that big tourney to get outta mom and dad’s place.
His entry was almost as good as sammymorb’s. He made the fatal error of appending a bad beat story, however, and thereby took himself out of contention.
PROOFREADING
One entrant made a vert simple offer, which I almost wish I’d have accepted (and I’m sure many of you would gree):
For paid entry into the event, I’ll proofread your blog posts for 3 months. I won’t really be editing for content or style, but rather obvious grammatical errors.
As an example, I’ve attached your last blog post with my edits in red.
The guy did a great job with the post he attached and I made every correction he suggested.
A QUESTION OF NEED
KC is an experienced tournament player I’ve run into on many occasions. His FTOPS record is far better than mine (though so is just about everyone’s) and he’s a good enough tournament player to buy his way into many of the events. In fact, after I neglected to choose him but before writing this, I noticed that he went deep in Event #9, outlasting me by, oh, say, five hours.
I decided to give the entries to some players who wouldn’t otherwise play the event, but I liked several aspects of his entry:
I want to present you with truly a once in a lifetime opportunity. For the crazy-low price of $200 (plus $16 shipping and handling), you can back one of online poker’s most solid players in FTOPS Event 1.
He also offered me an FTOPS hat (which, having never cashed in an FTOPS event since they started awarding them, I am pissed that I don’t have) and concluded as follows:
And that’s not all. If you like backing me in Event 1, you’ll have the chance to back me in future events as well. We’ll send you a backing offer every month to preview and enjoy in your own home. If you don’t like the backing arrangement, cancel at any time, and the FTOPS hat is YOURS TO KEEP.
The only sour note was his offer, as a bookstore manager, to “feature both of your books prominently in [my] store for years to come.”
So we’ve played together in about 50 tournaments, and you’re clearly a poker junkie, and, c’mon, they’re pretty good books. And you’re STILL not featuring them in your store, even though you have the power to do so?
BROTHER [IN LAW]’S KEEPER
One guy made a very sweet entry on behalf of his brother-in-law. But after I announced the contest results he told me he was afraid his BiL might be embarrassed if I told the story he told me in the entry. Even though the rules were clear and the entries were property of the Blog and could be reprinted, I didn’t want to get anyone in trouble. Unfortunately, I can reveal no more.
Those were the ten best. I’ll try to write about Event #1 and all the other entries, as well as my other overdue posts about FTOPS #7, ASAP.
