11
#438 – WSOP Notebook #11 – Four Tables, Four Worlds
[written June 6, a.m.]
Yesterday afternoon I played the 5 PM $2,500 Mixed EOB event.
I saw a lot of people older than me in this field, or maybe they just looked older than me. This seems like one of those events where you see a lot of the same people who’ve been playing at the World Series for 25 years. In my seven hours, I played at four tables, each a distinct, singular experience.
TABLE #1 – DREAM TABLE
In the first level of Stud EOB, the ante was 25 and limits are 75-150. That’s an incredibly high ante. I immediately noticed that nobody at this table had any idea how to play Stud EOB. First, there were two dead stacks so there were 200 in antes and only five other players contesting. This meant it cost only 75 chips to take a shot at 200 and only five opponents, and maybe only one of those five – tops – knew what was going on. I think I 12 of the first 16 hands in SEOB. I had an actual hand maybe one time. In fact, in the five hours I spent at this table, the only time I would ever lose chips was when I had an actual hand and even then it happened when some of my clueless opponents misplayed their hands and got lucky. In short, it was a dream table assignment.
TABLE #2 – THE BIG LEAGUES
Unfortunately, at 10 PM the dream died. I got moved to a table in the big leagues. Two seats to my left was Howard Lederer and one seat to his left was another top pro, a high-stakes player with numerous high-profile tournament successes. We’ll call him Ernie, though that isn’t his name. In the very first hand of Stud EOB, it ended up me against Lederer and he won half my chips. I had a pair of aces in the hole and he had a lesser pair and we both had low draws. He made a second pair on the river to win. One hand later, Howard lost a bunch of chips when he had aces in the hole and ended up losing to two pair on the river. He said, “I should have learned from you, Mike.”
“Howard,” I told him, writing all this down, “You just made it worth it for me to lose half my chips. First, because I can tell people that I lost those chips to you but you had to outdraw me on the river to do it. And second, because I can now put in quotes that you once uttered the phrase, ‘I should have learned from you, Mike.’”
I got most of those chips back a half-hour later from Ernie and got into an argument with him. This makes me not unique among poker players, because Ernie has a reputation of arguing with players and dealers all the time. It was a hand of Stud EOB where he just called the bring-in. I was last to act with A-3 in the hole and a nine showing. Of course, a nine showing usually makes a hand unplayable but I figured for the minimum bet, I would see what happened. We both ended up with raggedy hands and I made two pair and a slightly better low hand, calling his bets on fourth, fifth, and sixth streets.
After the hand he mumbled something to me. I asked him to repeat it and he said, “You started with a nine showing, right?”
I thought this was some kind of insult so I proudly answered, “Yes,” as I stacked his chips.
He then mumbled, “You’re supposed to keep your cards in order.”
I said, “Says who?”
He said, “It’s a rule.”
“Actually, the rule here is the opposite. They announced earlier today that if you lift your up-cards off the table, your hand is dead.”
He said, “Well that’s the way you’re supposed to do it.”
I said, “Not here. Do it your way and it’s a dead hand.”
He kept mumbling, “… supposed to do it …” and I kept saying, “Dead hand!”
In contrast, it was a blast playing with Howard Lederer. During a hand that neither of us played – which was pretty rare – I asked Howard how it was, going from hardly playing at all to playing poker every day. “I like this better.”
“Why do you think?” I knew it was a vague question, incapable of a simple answer but I was curious what he would say.
He shrugged and said, “Because it’s going to say ‘Poker Player’ on my tombstone.”
A player to my right mentioned the book Fooled by Randomness. Howard said, “I can’t believe you just mentioned the title of the most valuable book I ever read. I stopped backing people the day I finished that book. It probably saved me $5 million.”
TABLE #3 – MUTTERING MEN
At about 12:30 am our table broke and I was moved to a table with Men Nguyen and Chau Giang. I didn’t play a single hand there. Men played every hand, somebody got mad at him every hand, he muttered something under his breath every hand, and our table broke in 15 minutes.
TABLE #4 – LAST VOYAGE OF THE TITANIC
My last table of the night, Table 14, was stocked with one of the crummiest groups of people I’ve ever shared a poker table with, and that’s saying something. This table is the reason why limit poker is stagnant in the United States. No one wants to play with these fussy old geysers who make the game a miserable exercise for everyone involved.
Granted, we did not have great dealers, and most dealers are not experienced in dealing the EOB games. But these guys insisted on sticking their noses into the face of the dealer every hand, complaining about useless irrelevant things, complaining after the hands were over, giving advice, and even telling the new dealers all the mistakes that were made by the previous dealers.
During the time I was at the table, they had to call the floor man over 3 times, and it was never for something important, simple, or fast. At least five players had to give their speeches while the floor man was there and in no instance, after the floor man left, did anybody seem satisfied.
This included the hand in which I was eliminated where I had two pair, ended up making three pair and lost to a higher two pair. There was an argument about whether a player at the showdown could muck his hand after another player showed his hand. (He was probably incorrect to muck since technically all hands should be shown when someone is all-in but as a practical matter it was a worthless distraction.) It was purely a theoretical thing, but the players at the table wouldn’t let it die. They wouldn’t let it die with each other, they wouldn’t let it die with the dealer, and they wouldn’t let it die with the floor man. I busted out at about 1:50 AM. It was near 2 AM when I finished writing this down, and they were still arguing about it at the table as I left the Amazon Room.
All and all, though it was not a successful result, it was an enjoyable experience. I got to enjoy one dream table where everything went right, one table of very skilled players, including a good friend who I got to catch up with, and even the nightmare table was worthwhile in its way. At the very least I expect to spend 1 ½ fewer hours in Hell at the end of my life because I’m going to apply for a discount for the time I spent at Table 14.
