14
#467 – WSOP Notebook #40 – Matusow Was Here
I was just finishing dinner with Tony Holden when we stopped by his room at the Palms. I wanted a quick update on the last four tables before heading over to watch the end of tonight’s action.
Tony read the headline from Pokernews.com, which has been doing a tremendous job, covering the Main Event, and I could only say, “Nooooooooo.”
“Mike Matusow Eliminated in 30th Place.”
I was beside myself. This bothered me more than busting out of the Main Event myself. As Holden read the (sickening) details – Mike with A-J reraised a player who had A-9; the flop was A-A-5; the turn was a nine – I did the only thing I could think to do.
I dailed up Matusow. He went out less than 20 minutes before. I don’t know why I wanted to talk to him or even that I would talk to him. I was thinking that I wanted to make him feel better but what I really wanted was something much different, and selfish: I wanted him to make me feel better.
We talked for six minutes. Mike was disappointed but it didn’t feel like he was in a bad mood. While I sang his praises – the obvious things like what a great Series he had, how patiently he played, how he never had a lot of chips (he told me he was above the chip average for one hour today and that was it for the entire tournament), how he never got a good table assignment, how he has made serious runs in the Main Event four times now in the last eight years, how he’s playing so expertly that this was really the only way he could be eliminated before the final table – it dawned on me that Mike is a different person now.
Matusow’s heart has always been naked, exposed to the world. No matter what good things were going on, there was always a part of him (despite his puffery) that worried that he wasn’t good enough or smart enough – for poker or life. Maybe you don’t have much empathy for a guy who had win three bracelets and millions of dollars – and who has been a fixture on ESPN, Fox Sports, and newspapers and magazines around the world for most of the decade – to get over feeling unworthy, but it’s really taken until now for him to make a personal breakthrough.
Mike Matusow finally believes in himself.
Sure, he has always said “I’m the best” or “when I’m on my game, no one can beat me.” And he meant it, sort of. At the same time, though, part of his motivation was to puff himself up to get over his insecurities, to convince himself – though never successfully – that he was good enough. He’d complain about bad beats and that he wasn’t meant to win but I truly think that part of Matusow was never sure he was good enough.
But he’s different now. He’s making a lot of noise about the power of positive thinking this World Series and I guess that’s a convenient name for it, but he’s simply convinced himself, finally, that he’s worthy of success.
It’s a shame Mikey went out in 30th. A shame for me, because some of by best writing ever has come from following Matusow through the tunnel. And a shame for Caesars, ESPN, and the poker because the world is a finer place when Mike Matusow is there.
But I can finally say that it’s not a shame for Mike Matusow. He fought like a gladiator, finishing in the top half of the top one-percent in the biggest field in the Series. And that’s after winning the event with the smallest, most elite field (smaller and trickier even than the $50,000 HORSE, though the HORSE is rightfully considered “the Championship” by the pros), and making another final table in one of the $10,000 buy-in world Championships during the Series.
Mike knows how good he can be and how good he is. With all that an uncertain, insecure Matusow was able to accomplish, there’s a chance you ain’t seen nuthin’ yet.
