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#470 – Paradise, the Hard Way
I haven’t disappeared from the face of the Earth, but almost.
I’m with my family this week on the Big Island of Hawaii, renting an oceanside condo on the Kona coast from my friend Marissa. My good friend Marissa. My wonderful friend Marissa.
Have I mentioned how wonderful and terrific Kona and Marissa are?
Because they are. Wonderful and terrific, that is.
I have many adventures on which to report, as well as a retrospective on the World Series of Poker that I’ve been working on for a week. But it’s 3:30 AM here – 9:30 AM on the East Coast – so that’ll all have to wait.
I’ve been playing a little poker on Full Tilt since I’ve been here, partly because the tournament times are so topsy-turvy on Hawaiian time that I’m able to play tournaments (or at times) I never really considered. On top of that, I’ve been playing so long in the few tournaments I’ve entered that I can’t stop.
On Sunday, I was awake early – we’re right next to the ocean so you’re not going to hear me complain about the sunlight streaming in at THIS Compound – so I entered the Sunday Brawl, which started at 8 AM here. I finished out of the money but won a pair of satellite entries into the Million Dollar Guarantee, and finished 150th out of 2,400. I also finished in the money in the Sunday HORSE, but that’s more or less a given by now.
Last night, Monday, I won an entry into this Sunday’s $750,000 Guarantee and played a tournament that’s just too late for me to consider when I’m “on the mainland,” the $8,500 Guarantee that starts at 4 AM Eastern time, 1 AM in Arizona this time of year, but 10 PM in the Land of Active Volcanoes. I finished 10th, just missing the final table despite suffering a horrendous beat in a 3-way-pre-flop-all-in with KK, losing to KQ (which made a flush).
I entered the same tournament tonight, this time armed with a wood-carved statue of the Hawaiian god Lono. The statue looks more than vaguely phallic and I bought it at a local Wal-Mart, but the Hawaiian gods are super-cool and Hunter Thompson named a great and underappreciated book after Lono, so I had to have it.
This time, even though I started falling asleep between hands during the middle part of the tournament, I benefited from all matters of luck – including winning a 3-way-all-in-pre-flop where I made a flush with KQ to beat KK! – and won the tournament.
Naturally, the guy whose KK I crushed was apoplectic, eventually leveling the serious threat of posting the hand in the forum. (The guy went so self-soiling-batshit-crazy that he started complaining not just how bad I am but also about Mandy B, who wasn’t even playing in the tournament. I thought I was going to have to consider learning to administer CPR over the internet, or at least convince the guy to shove his wallet in this mouth to keep him from swallowing his tongue.)
Of course I got lucky, but the the guy should really consider cutting his commitment to playing poker until he grows a spine or nut-sack or whatever he’s congenitally missing. There’s a lot more to the game than knowing the hand rankings. I’d rather be the guy with KK than KQ in that showdown, but at least I have the decency to behave myself when I lose.
And it’s not just good sportsmanship: keeping a level head after those things is frequently important in playing out the tournament (though this guy, despite whining like a spurned prom date, played solid on his short stack the rest of the way).
And why shouldn’t I be telling people how to behave? I’ve made $4,000 in bed in three days – surely, the only time I could ever say that – and spent a lot of fun time with Jo Anne and my kids.
If Marissa doesn’t mind my changing the locks and staying on past this Saturday by, say, several years, all will be well with the world. That will certainly make it easier for me to tell you of my Hawaiian adventures and finish up with the World Series. (And let’s not forget FTOPS IX just around the corner!)
