#633 – Engulfed by Biloxi #3 – On Line

 Saturday, 1:05 PM

Waiting in line to register, another very long line. I see my first familiar face in Biloxi. Paul “Eskimo” Clark. This makes sense. Mississippi is practically Clark’s home turf.

After running around like a maniac since I stepped out of the shower 32 minutes ago, it appears the $1,000 + $70 NLHE event starts at 1 PM, not noon, as I was told twice by tournament employees (though in fairness it might have been the same person twice, once by phone and once at the cage), or 2 PM or 3 PM as I thought I saw online. So I’m late but I should be able to enter.

Part of the problem is that I have no internet access yet. My kids and I got a lot of jokes off this week at the expense of Mississippi.

*They don’t call it a computer. They call it a Magic Word Box.

*High-speed access is 1200 baud.

*You need a Comp-u-Serve account to get access.

Etc. etc. etc.

But the fault is that of Beau Rivage, not the fine folks of Mississippi.

I’m willing to throw down $108 for internet access to my room – nine nights at the extortionate rate of $12 per night – but I’ve been slow to follow the additional procedures or make the necessary payoffs to actually get online.

No hablo WiFi at Beau Rivage. You need an ethernet cable. I have many of those but I left them at home. Well, I need one and they won’t provide it.

So I need to BUY one. For ten bucks. I was even ready to do that, though reluctant, last night.

I went to the store that supposedly sells them (ironically named “Impulse”) but they said they were “fresh outta them.” Option Two is to buy the cord from the vending machine located in the alcove with the ice-maker. When I got to the vending machine on my floor, I found it was out of order. It would take one five-dollar bill but not a second. (I was told by the helpful clerk at Impulse that it would not take ten-dollar bills.)

Was there something wrong with my five-dollar bills? Did the machine actually take only tens? Was it programmed for Confederate scrip?

I puzzled all this out as I lay on top of my bed, lights on, fully clothed, at 10 PM on Friday night. Next thing I knew, it was 12:20 PM and I’ve been in a panic ever since.

It’s now 1:20 PM and this registration line hasn’t moved. I think I am one place closer to registering, and that’s only because Eskimo has disappeared.

• No Related Post