#694 – NBC Heads-Up Championship #15 – The Black Brackets – Clubs and Spades – In Praise of Phenomenal Women

We started right on time at 4 PM with the second half of the Round of 32. We were told in press row – actually, I was told this, because I’m the only one in press row who can’t sit still for two hours – that we shouldn’t get up during the round, so I officially have the worst seat in the house with no hope of improving this round.

BLEACHER BUM

Last year, the bleachers contained three rows of seats. This year, I supposed because of the economy, they contain just two rows. That makes front row seating (after family, entourage, and sponsors) just about non-existent and, unfortunately, most of my great reporting at this event has been from the front row.

I would match my reporting ability, in real time in print or on the internet – without hole cards – against a TV broadcaster with tape, editing, and hole cards. But I obviously can’t do that from the back of the bleachers.

Don’t misunderstand me here. I’m not complaining or whining. NBC puts on a great show and all the people I know in the production – Eric Drache, Ali Nejad, Pierre Moossa – have been incredibly kind for me for several years running. I’m just going to miss the opportunity to give you some stuff that, because they can’t or don’t give it to you on TV, will go unreported.

I’ll find great things to tell you and post them. You’ll get (sometimes) timely results. But I can’t really offer a competing match-commentary without being able to see or hear even the outlines.

WHAT’S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY

Jo Anne told me this morning, “I read your posts from yesterday and they were great. That post about Ted Forrest walking on the Atlantic City Expressway – hilarious.”

“Yeah,” I told her, “and remember, he invited me to join hin and Tibor on one of their AC trips.”

“Oh, I know. You have to do it!”

Think about this: you have to go with Ted Forrest to Atlantic City. My wife. Told me to do this.

Lots of guys think their wives are wonderful. But I’m confident that I win.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO CALL ME DAD

There are some monstrously good match-ups in the second half of the second round. Right in front of me is one of them, Paul Wasicka and Don Cheadle.

I am now officially in love with Carol Wasicka, Paul’s mom. She remembered me from last year, when I was grabbing a bite with Andy Bloch in the food court and she asked if he was available to date her daughter. I thought it was so sweet, though I knew when I wrote about it there was some risk it might read like I thought she was inappropriate, or acting like she was desperate or something wrong with her daughter.

She was totally cool with it. I’ve always liked Paul. In fact, I liked his whole family the first time I met them in 2007. He doesn’t even have to call me Dad.

Carol and I laughed about the circumstances of our meeting, but as she settled into her seat at the start of her son’s match with Don Cheadle, she said, voce sotto, “Is Andy still unavailable? I think he’s so sweet.”
LEEANN TWEEDEN IS THE REAL DEAL

We’ve just started the black brackets of the second round. Leeann Tweeden, after doing the introductions, settled against a wall under a pair of monitors to eat lunch. She’s a risk-taker, and you have to respect that. She’s eating a baked potato out a styrafoam container. To compound matters, she has a metal fork and no knife.

The risks are numerous. She could poke the fork through the styrofoam, or take an ungodly big chunk of potato. She’s got the container balanced on her thighs, which we can assume are shapely but are too narrow to offer much purchase. Even if she didn’t choke, her cheeks would puff unattractively.

But she’s carrying it off. Reasonable-sized pieces are appearing on her fork. She’s even taking sips from a cup of soda on the floor, holding a napkin, and – get this – talking with a woman next to her. Does she have two more arms I can’t see? A Discreet mouth on the side of one of her ankles?

No, she’s in the tiny, tiny minority of women. She got the job because she’s gorgeous. But she’s cool and poised, even when it’s impossible to be invisible.

Leeann Tweeden is all that.

Hey, it’s 4:37 and a couple matches just ended. I better see what that’s about.

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