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#920 – Adrift in Vegas, Part IV (Conclusion) – The Last-Chance WPT Keno Satellite

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One of the problems of having so much good material is that it’s difficult to post everything in a timely fashion. For instance, I have some phenomenal posts about Phil Ivey that never made it to the Blog because there was so much else going on at the Main Event Final Table. You’re going to see those pop up over the next few weeks, because it’s great stuff and I think Phil Ivey is always in fashion. In fact, I have a lot of WSOP Final Table posts coming. Just before the Final Table, Shauna and I went to Las Vegas to gather information. Some of that information appeared in my Final Table posts and my Ivey posts. (Other material from that trip will appear in the near future in the Blog.)

I never even got to finish my trip report, titled “Adrift in Vegas.” The first part focused on the awkwardness of my checking Shauna into the Gold Coast at 4 AM. The second part described our meeting with Ted Forrest and his recent travel adventures. The third part was a photo gallery, punctuated by our encounters with Mike Matusow, Howard Lederer, Andy Bloch, and Chris Ferguson.

Here is the conclusion of that travel report:

We hadn’t come to Vegas for the WPT event; it just happened to coincide with the end of our trip. But it brought up those messy conflicted feelings I have between writing about poker vs. playing poker. I hadn’t come to Vegas expecting to play any poker. And because my Razz money has long been spent and I’m stinking it up online, I didn’t have the money or confidence to lay out $15,000 to play the Bellagio event. But here we were and here it was.

Translation: I’m due! I wish I could play that WPT event! No, I SHOULD play that WPT event! On Sunday, after I made it into the money in The Million Dollar Guarantee, I started playing the dangerous game of “How Much…?”

In this game, I come up with some ridiculous purchase, and ask myself, “How much would I have to win to buy this?” So I thought, “how much would I have to make in The Million Dollar Guarantee to pay $15,000 I don’t have to play the Bellagio WPT event?”

Ninth place paid over $16,000, so I would have to make the final table at least. Because I wouldn’t blow my whole profit and my biggest online score of the year on an impulse-tournament entry, I would need to make much more. Fifth place paid around $51,000 so that would be the starting point, but even then it would be close.

It wasn’t to be. I made the last six tables but busted in 52^nd place. The only red pro still alive when I went out was Vivek Rajkumar. I had mixed feelings when I found out the next day that he won the tournament.

I was too wrapped up in work on Monday and Tuesday to give the WPT event any thought. In fact, I didn’t consider playing in the $1,500 mega-satellites on Monday or Tuesday (even if I had the money, which I didn’t).

It was at lunch on Wednesday that I decided that I had to take some kind of shot.

Shauna and I were at the Bellagio buffet when I developed an irresistible urge to play Keno. While Shauna perused the desserts, I signed up for three games of Keno at five dollars per. Had I really fallen so far that I was counting on Keno to get me into a poker tournament? Keno is the all-time worst of casino games. It ranks above street-begging solely because street beggars usually get a bit more respect from the casino. Years ago, the coffee shop at the Golden Nugget had a Keno brochure that declared, “The less you bet, the more you lose when you win.”

When I badgered Shauna for lucky numbers, she looked disgusted. “I think it’s bogus that you have to tell them your numbers before the game is run.” Oddly, I remember Andy Beal telling me that the late Bob Stupak said that Keno was his favorite Casino game for that exact reason. I’m pretty sure, though, that he was referring to the days when he OWNED the casino.

To make my five dollars back, I would need to hit five of eleven numbers. Because nine of eleven pays just $9,000, my “How much” number was ten out of eleven, which paid $62,500.

I never came close. I never even got my five dollars back in any of the three games. Does anybody ever win at Keno? Is there a chance that “Keno” is a word in some obscure language meaning “Dreams for idiots”?

Nevertheless, I felt the need to take the Walk of Shame through the tournament area in the Fontana Bar, a walk not made easier by several familiar faces assuming I was in the field and asking about my table draw. The worst moment was when I saw Vivek Rajkumar in the field.

I don’t know Vivek other than by reputation. Obviously, he is a very skilled player. For just a moment in the Fontana Bar, however, I thought of him as a thief. Wasn’t that my seat he was sitting in?

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