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Posted by Editor | Filed under Prop Bets, Ted Forrest, Weight Loss

During the last ten days of December, even though I didn’t have a bet in place, I started dieting. To get some expert advice on weight, weight loss, and weight-loss bets, I contacted the leading expert, William E. Forrest. (a/k/a Ted, a/k/a Professor Backward)

Forrest, however, is difficult to reach in the best of circumstances; in late December he was in Thailand. But, like Haley’s Comet and Superman, you can find him when you really need him if you know where to look. I was able to get a long message to Ted via the internet.

Although Ted Forrest KNOWS of the internet, he isn’t exactly savvy about its operation. For example, he only recently started multi-tabling online because he didn’t know how to change the size of table windows. Consequently, he wrote me a lengthy reply but I never received it.

Here’s what I got:

“Just tried to send you a reply and I think it did not go through, so this one will be shorter. I think with a reasonably dedicated effort on your part you could weigh 220 by WSOP. If you really wanted to go all out and you have no health problems, I love your chances to weigh less than Andy at some point, although not by the World Series. To save our lives (or to win a huge bet) I am fairly confident that I could help you weigh in at under 175 with no ill effects on your health. I know how crazy that sounds, but your best weight for longevity.”

This was fascinating information but it raised as many questions as it answered. Could I really get someone to bet me at 220? What was a more realistic weight – for inducing a bet – for the World Series? Did Ted think I could get to 200 by then? What did he mean by “to save our lives”? And what did he mean by “to win a huge bet”?

I sent Ted a return message asking these questions and received no response.

On New Year’s Day, weighing 247, I reached Ted by phone. It’s weird what comes out of Forrest’s mouth during a normal conversation. Maybe it’s fair to say that when you talk to Ted, you never really have a normal conversation. For example, at one point he asked me about the size of my calves, talked about Greg Raymer’s calves, and then we discussed calf-weight-loss over the long term. But he is the expert in such matters, so who am I to question what is strange?

Ted reiterated that 220 was a reasonable World Series weight and 200 would be no problem but could take longer. But his greatest level of interest was at the low end of the weight spectrum (and, correspondingly, at the high end of the betting spectrum). Based on the difference in our heights, Ted wanted to see me make a long-term bet that I could cross weights with Andy Bloch – for SERIOUS money. It also sounded like he wanted a financial interest in such a bet because he started quizzing me on the details for Andy’ s deal with Full Tilt (about which I know nothing) and throwing around numbers that I THINK were in the seven figures.

I found this both flattering and alarming. I appreciated Ted’s interest in my situation and confidence in taking my side of what would be e giant betting proposition. On the other hand, I had reason to be worried about entering any type of physical performance type contract with Ted Forrest. Recall, For instance, the story from SUICIDE KING in which he impulsively agreed to run 104 laps (25 miles) around the UNLV track on the hottest day of the year. There’s a chance that bet could have killed him. There was also the time he drank something like 10 beers in one hour to win $30,000. Then there was his mysterious statement on the phone that “for serious money, I think I could get you down to 170, but you may have to disappear for six months.” Actually, he made a couple of references to endgame weight-loss strategies that involved “disappearing” for a while.

Clearly, Ted thought I was aiming too small. He suggested bringing Phil Ivey into the bet. (I guess he figured, now that Phil was divorced he wouldn’t have to deal with the short leash of a wife and REALLY start betting crazy.)

“You might be able to get Phil I vey to make a big bet that you couldn’t lose 100 lbs. You weigh 258? (I hadn’t told Ted that I was already down to 247.) So you put on 10 lbs of water weight, you get down below 200 with no problem, and then you disappear for a while? We could do that for a million dollars, couldn’t we?”

Once again, the more information I got from Ted Forrest, the more uncertain I was about going down this road. Make a million dollars? Hell, yeah. Partner with Ted Forrest? Cool and adventurous. Disappear for a while? Uh . . . gimme a moment here.

As I got down around 240, I realized my progress could potentially jeopardize a bet, but I was more interested in losing weight than winning money so I didn’t want to put dieting on hold. I sent Andy Bloch another email to see if he would propose some terms but I didn’t hear back from him. I dropped a hint about a bet to Andy Beal but that went nowhere. I even tried to contact Phil Ivey. I could think of only one more crazy gambler with whom I could arrange a last-minute high-stakes weight-loss bet.

Fortunately for me, Shauna was in the Bahamas and saw Roland de Wolfe there so making contact was no problem. Shauna brought it up with him and wrote me, “He doesn’t want to do a weight-loss bet with you because you’d win.”

I wrote back, trying to goad Roland into some action. “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard him turn down a bet. He must be getting older. And wiser.” Naturally, he was wise enough not to get conned into a bet by such a flimsy tactic.

So it looks like I’m stuck. It’s too late to turn back now on the weight loss and time is rapidly running out on betting opportunities.  As of the end of last week, I was down to 239. No bet, no book, nothing but trying to fill my day (and my mouth) without eating.

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2 Responses to “#949 – How to Lose Pounds, Money, and Dreams, Part II – Enter Professor Backward”

1. Bill Says:
   January 21st, 2010 at 2:00 pm

   Michael
   Long time reader, I weigh 244 this morning and am debating a diet, I would be happy to lay $20 on the table for a bet for under 210 by the WSOP. No million dollars here, but I do enjoy some motivation for it.
   Bill

2. Brett Says:
   January 24th, 2010 at 9:38 pm

   MC,

   Would be happy to lay some sort of bet with you.
   I am currently 322 and need to get down to 275 by October 10th of this year.
   What did you have in mind? I am not up for millions, but something substantial could be interesting.
   Hit me back soon dood.

   Brett

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