Poker From The Rail

Nearly $6 million

Almost $600K

Yes, Mikey’s made a lot of money during his career. But how much of that has he blown on illicit substances and showering strippers with sticky dollar bills? Erica, on the other hand, is just getting started in her career so it’s hard to fault her for such a serious deficit. But we still have to give the one to Mikey (having lost a few sticky dollars in our time as well).

Two WSOP bracelets

Once again, give Erica some time and we’re sure that she’ll catch up. Unfortunately, we have to give this one to Mikey as well.

When he’s hot, he’s unstoppable. But he’s almost never hot.

She shows a lot of promise, but has yet to come through with a major victory.

We admire Mikey’s tournament skills, if only for the fact that he’s suffered a barrage of unbearably bad beats that would have killed a lesser man. Erica has simply yet to prove herself on the tourney circuit. Mikey continues to lay the beat down (we said down, not off, right?) on Erica.

Mikey spews fundage unlike any other pro when he sits down at the cash games on Full Tilt.

Erica is under the tutelage of cash game specialist David Benyamine (tutelage being slang for… oh, never mind).

This is always the hardest category to judge because we really don’t get to see these players at cash games too often. We have seen Mikey get slaughtered a couple of times though. So based on that, we have to give this one to Erica. The score now stands at 3 to 1 for Matusow.

NL Hold ‘em

PLO? Isn’t that some kind of terrorist organization? What have you been sniffing Mikey? Ring one more up for Erica.

Loud and obnoxious

Quiet and respectful

Mikey, Mikey, Mikey, where did it all go so wrong? Stop trying to live up to your nickname and tone it down once and a while. We know you love to complain about all the bad beats that you take. But really, no one cares. Sorry, but it’s the truth. Our ears hurt just from thinking about this one. Erica evens the score heading down the stretch.

The Poker Babe

Hmmm. This is a tough one. Both nicknames are quite apt. While we’d like to give some love to Mikey here, it’s just not going to happen. The Poker Babe is just too pokerific, too babetastic, too groin-grabbingly transcendent. Ahhh, Erica Schoenberg… What were we saying? Oh yeah, Erica takes down another category. Call her butter, cause she’s on a roll.

World-class complainer

Blackjack specialist

Another close call. The question is whether or not Mikey is better at complaining than Erica is at Blackjack. The answer is probably yes. Mikey takes down this one down and evens up the score as we head into the final category.

Went on a blind date with Kathy Griffin.

Former model, beach volleyball player, and personal trainer.

Kathy Griffin? Really Mikey? We know you’re a media whore, but my god man! Spare yourself some dignity. Nothing more needs to be said here, Erica takes down the final category (and not just because of her splendid physique).