In the absence of one of our red pros winning a legitimate live donkament this week*, we’ve had to dig deep to find some news that’s up to the standards you, our loyal reader, have come to expect. So after five minutes of reading NVG and seeing what promotions we can pass off as informational tidbits, we bring you the week at FTP.
We may just be getting older and crankier (it’s certainly not wiser), but it seems that every day there’s some new Internet whiz-kid tearing up cash games and earning more in a month than the GDP of some small Caribbean countries. Frankly, it’s getting hard to tell them all apart because:
- Everyone looks the same on the Internets and
- We’re much too uncool to understand all the pop culture references and l33t h@X0r language embedded in all their screen names.
Thankfully, some of these young whippersnappers have gotten themselves organized into an easy-to-identify group, which means the big wigs upstairs wasted no time in adding them to our roster of red pros.
So please join us in giving a big Poker From The Rail welcome to Team CardRunners who we hope will provide us with better advice than the Captain, who suggests taking a shot with each new orbit. (Don’t get us wrong, the Captain’s games are fun, but our bankrolls and our livers seem to suffer a little bit more after each session.)
Anyway, look for Taylor Caby, Brian Townsend, Mike Schneider, Brian Hastings, Cole South, Andrew Wiggins and Eric Liu playing under their real-life names on FTP.
Ziigmund (believed to be Finnish pro Ilari Sahamies, who looks like this) is the proud winner of our biggest pot of the week at FTP. The hand went down at one of our $200/$400 Pot-Limit Omaha tables when Ziigmund clashed with TheOcean0 in a hand worth a tidy $319K. Take that lol donkament players.
Just in case you’re wondering what this has to do with poker, Chuck Norris is a real-life poker player. Of course this profile seems to be a little inaccurate, seeing as Chuck Norris would have roundhouse kicked his way to every WSOP, WPT, EPT and any remaining poker tournament titles known to man.
We also found this fact about his poker ability on the Internet – which means it must be true:
"Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, a green number 4 from Uno, and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.”
If that’s not proof, I don’t know what is.
Well that’s it folks, stay tuned for next week when we sign Mikey the poker-playing monkey, and reminisce about our favorite scenes from Walker: Texas Ranger.
*Huck Seed did win the Canadian Open Poker Championship Main Event this past week – a $5K buy-in Heads Up tournament that we would normally mention but then we realized, Huck was playing in Canada. Huck also recently finished third in the National Heads-Up Poker Championship – a proper poker tournament on which we congratulate him for his fantastic result.
