Paris France, May 11: Due to being very sick, traveling and having inconsistent Internet, I haven’t been able to update in a few days. Luckily, they haven’t been a particularly interesting few days.
We docked in Dubrovnik in Croatia on the 9th, but I was so sick I slept in until almost 2PM and woke up feeling like death. I spent the day lying in bed and eventually going in search of the medical center on the ship to retrieve medicine. The medical center was hidden behind two large metal doors that read Fire Door and had no sign for the medical center, but the cough medicine and aspirin she gave me were actually reasonably priced at 7.50 Euro instead of the ~2000 I had anticipated to pay.
The following day we disembarked in Venice and transferred to a hotel near the airport with Timex and Will in tow after having booked one room there the previous night online. When we arrived, the hotel informed us they’d never received any online confirmation and the site I had booked through didn’t even exist in their registry of sites they subscribed to. I called my bank with Skype later that afternoon to make sure to block payment.
Timex and Will spent the next several hours in the lobby debating whether or not to get on a plane and leave that night or to stay overnight and go the next day. After much debate and indecision they elected to catch a plane and head out. I was still pretty exhausted from being ill and spent the remainder of the evening lying in bed searching for channels with English speaking programs. Due to a desperate supply and demand situation I was reduced to watching an English version of Big Momma’s House 2 with Martin Lawrence. The end result of that film will be a conversation with my doctor a couple decades from now that’ll go something like, “Mr. Dunst, I’m terribly afraid to inform you of this but it seems you’ve suffered an enormous amount of brain damage, this large chunk of scar tissue appears to be in the area of 20 years old. It’s a miracle you’re still alive and functioning” immediately after which I’ll drool all over him and ask for a lollypop in slurs.
This morning we left the hotel and got on our flight to Paris, which had a stopover in Zurich. The flights were short and uneventful, and I spent the majority of my time on them writing this blog entry.
Anyway, this boring list of activity is not the real purpose of this entry. It’s obvious that when traveling you have to anticipate people having a different way of dealing with things. Some people aren’t quite really sure what to expect, so I’d like to shed some light on that. I’d like to go over some examples of how you can expect people to react in certain situations in different countries. I give you USA vs. Italy vs. Australia:
Situation 1: Two men are sitting in a café for lunch. One of them has a very important meeting with his boss at 1pm.
Man 1: Hey do you know what time it is? I’ve kinda lost track of time here and I’ve got that important meeting at 1.
Man 2: Uh let’s see…my cell phone says its 12:42.
Man 1: OH GOD! I’m going to be late! OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! PRAY FOR ME!!
Man 1: Eh, do you know what time it is? I’ve kinda lost track of time here and I’ve got that important meeting at 1.
Man 2: No idea, who cares?
Man 1: Yeah, you’re right. What say we order a couple more bottles of wine, reminisce about the old days for a while, and I get there when I get there?
Man 2: Malto bene.
Man 1: Mate, do you know what time it is? I’ve kinda lost track of time here and I’ve got that important meeting at 1.
Man 2: Uh let’s see…my mobile says its 12:42.
Man 1: Oops, better call the boss *he pulls out his phone and dials* G’day mate It’s Johno here, I’m gonna be late to our thingy…yep, knockin’ a few back with me mate, be in around 1:30…or you know what, call it 2, we’ll prob order another round or four. Alright then, no worries, ta!
Situation 2: A man is in a diner ordering food:
Man 1: I’ll have a grilled cheese.
Waiter: That’ll be two dollars fifty.
Man 1: Whoa this place is expensive.
Man 1: I’ll have a grilled cheese.
Waiter: That’ll be 7 euro.
Man 1: Wow this place is cheap.
Man 1: I’ll have a grilled cheese.
Waiter: What’s a grilled cheese?
Man 1: Screw it, just get me beer.
Situation 3: A man is checking into his hotel:
Man 1: Hello, I’m Mr. Smith, here to check in.
Attendant: Ah Mr. Smith, welcome to our hotel. Our three-star establishment has six restaurants, two cafes, a bar, and an Internet café. Your room includes a king-sized bed, 58 channels with HBO, free high-speed Internet and a Jacuzzi. Also, if you’d like to have a party, please don’t hesitate to call us at the front desk about a weed or hooker connection. Here’s your room card.
Man 1: Hello, I’m Mr. Pescatori, here to check in.
Attendant: Ah Mr. Pescatori, welcome to our hotel. Our four-star establishment includes one restaurant and bar, but the restaurant is only open between the hours of 7 and 8PM. Your room has two single beds and you can get Internet in our lobby for 5 euro per 10 minutes, but the lobby closes at 11PM. Oh, and make sure to let your water run in the shower for a while before you get in, unless you enjoy the sensation of “shrinkage”. Here’s your key, it has grooves.
Man 1: Hello, I’m Mr. Potter, here to check in.
Attendant: Ah Mr. Potter, please don’t go walking around outside our hotel with 30,000 dollars this time.
Situation 4: Two men are watching their favorite sport:
Man 1: What a great game, gotta love football!
Man 2: 21-20 with three minutes left in the 4th and Favre with the ball, doesn’t get any better than this.
Man 1: What a great game, gotta love football!
Man 2: 0-0 going into penalty shots, I haven’t seen a goal in years!
Man 1: What a great game, gotta love footy!
Man 2: 128-125 with God only knows how much time left. Christ I’m drunk.
Situation 5: Two men are discussing politics.
Man 1: If you ask me, Bush is doing a horrible job, he’s a total moron.
Man 2: What are you going to do about it?
Man 1: Absolutely nothing. I don’t vote.
Man 1: If you ask me Napolitano is doing a horrible job, he’s a complete fool.
Man 2: What are you going to do about it?
Man 1: Write all my local representatives, tell all my friends about my views, protest at rallies, publish an editorial against him, and maybe riot in the streets.
Australian version:
Man 1: If you ask me, whoever’s in charge is doing a horrible job, he’s a total wanker.
Man 2: You don’t know who’s in charge?
Man 1: Nope.
Man 2: Me either. Let’s get some beer mate.
Hopefully this helps shed some lights on situations you may encounter while traveling to these destinations.
Anyway, now that I’m in Paris and there’s poker worth playing every day, there will be poker-related trip reports instead of my bantering about nothing. The 10K Euro ME is in a few days, and has super satellites that are 200 rebuys leading up to it every day. There should also be updates every day from now on until I spend a day in travel to the US.
