I’ve left plenty of other jobs before. Some, I’ve liked - others, not so much. But I can honestly say that I’ve never had a job that, at its base level, was as cool, fun and entertaining as this gig has been day in and day out. In my book, that’s pretty high praise but, then again, I’m a cynical bastard at heart.

Don’t get me wrong. Like any job, there have been days when I’d have liked nothing more than to chuck my keyboard out the window and head for the closest bar. In fact, I may even have done just that on an occasion or two (sorry K-Rich), but when all is said and done, I’ve spent the last 40+ months immersed in all things poker. How can I really complain?

If I wasn’t already a fan of poker before I started working here, having the opportunity to meet and befriend pros like Howard Lederer, Chris Ferguson and Andy Bloch certainly would have made me one. Just having been able to sit with these guys and listen to them talk about their strategies and approaches to the game is an education that every serious – and aspiring – player should experience. The fact that they’re all pretty cool guys was just icing on the cake.

Speaking of cool folks, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention my fellow inmates at the asylum we call The Rail. I couldn’t ask for a better backing band than the crew that’s worked with me day in and day out in an effort to keep you, our reader, entertained and informed. I’ll be sad to leave them behind, but I know this blog will flourish in the capable hands and paws of the Inuit, the Captain, and that angriest of monkeys. Good luck to you all and may HDouble have mercy on your souls.

As for me, I’m heading out to stu… wha?! I’m heading off to play stud? Shit! Can someone find me Keith Sexton’s number? Or Friedman’s? Come on… someone’s gotta know where to find Perry….

Anyway… I’ll see you all down the road. It’s been fun. Thanks for reading.

Big Donkey

While we’re talking about online play, I thought it would be good to revisit a little feature we’ve dropped over the past few weeks: the big stakes games. Thanks to our friends over at the High Stakes Database, we can tell you that since July 1^st, the biggest overall winner on the site has been OnTheRize, who’s banked more than $851K so far. He’s followed closely by Team Full Tilt’s Gus Hansen who’s picked up more than $822K, and CHUFTY, who’s raked in nearly $760,000. The full list of the top 10 is shown below:

• OnTheRize - $851.316,00
• Gus Hansen - $822.244,55
• CHUFTY - $758.302,00
• Urindanger - $588.364,75
• David Oppenheim - $509.842,30
• Aeron73 - $509.703,65
• pr1nnyraid - $508.134,25
• La Key U - $505.299,95
• Nizot Skizared - $462.186,25
• Rob Hollink - $434.431,55

When it comes to specific games, pr1nnyraid is leading the No-Limit Hold ‘em money lead with more than $306K in winnings since July 1^st, while OnTheRize has made all of his money at the PLO tables. Gus Hansen is the big, big winner in this month’s PLO Hi/Lo games, with more that $1.4 million in profit, though he’s given about $600K of that back to the poker community in other games. Who says the pros don’t know how to share?

Return of the Monthly Million

After a two month hiatus for FTOPS VIII and our 150 Main Event Guarantee, the Monthly Million returned to the schedule last weekend, much to the delight of GulahPapyrus who took down the tournament and more than $219K in first-place prize money.

Overall, 2,396 ponied up for Sunday’s big tourney, generating a prize pool worth $1,198,000, which was good enough to pay out the top 351 finishers. Some of the notable names who padded their bankrolls on Sunday include Michael Craig, Roy Winston, Matt Sexton, and our newest Full Tilt Poker pro, two-time WSOP bracelet winner Josh Arieh.

Welcome to the Family

While we’re talking about new FTP pros like Josh, we’d be remiss to mention a few other red names you’ll be seeing around the site. First off is notable high-stakes player and the always entertaining, Eli Elezra who brings with him one WSOP bracelet and a whole lot of “gamble”.

Another bracelet winner joining the pro ranks is Nikolay Evdakov, who along with Vitaly Lunkin and Svetlana Gromakova, make up our new Russian team. Speaking of teams, our buddies over at CardRunners have expanded their lineup as well, adding some familiar online names to our roster. Look for Isaac Baron, David Benefield, and Ryan Daut playing under their own names in our ring games and on our educational tables.

Personally, I’m lobbying to head up our newest effort, Team St. Bart’s, but it’s going to be a tough fight against The Captain. Wish me luck.

Until next time…

Team Full Tilt’s Mike Matusow had the honor of being the last big name left in the 6,844 player field, and he bowed out in 30^th place after taking after his A-Q lost to a full house of Aces and 9s. We’re sure Mikey is hugely disappointed with his finish, especially since he’s been playing some insanely great poker over the past six weeks. Hopefully, the $193,000 he banked for his Main Event performance will help ease his pain.

Unlike most other tourneys at this year’s WSOP, the pros just didn’t perform as well as the amateurs in this year’s Main Event. Of course, with more than 6,800 players in a single tourney, even reaching the money in this kind of donk-fest is a pretty impressive feat. With that in mind, here are some of the other FTP pros who earned back their $10K entrance fee and a little bit more:

• The recently signed David Benefield - $77,200 for 73^rd place
• Mark Vos - $77,200 for 80^th place
• Jeff Madsen - $41,816 for 112^th place
• Allen Cunningham, Gus Hansen, and Chip Jett - $41,818 each for 117^th, 160, and 161^st place
• Ben Roberts - $38,600 for 178^th place

• Total amount won by the FTP pros during the 2008 WSOP: $12,213,376
• Number of bracelets won: 10
• Number of final tables reached: 46
• Number of pros who cashed: 80
• Number of pros who cashed for $1M or more: 1
• Number of pros who cashed for $500K or more: 8
• Number of other useless categories I can keep creating: 236

While the poker world was focusing on the action in the Rio’s Amazon Room over the past two weeks, there was another series of tourneys in Vegas that drew some big fields and big names; the Bellagio Cup.

Why do we care? Because one of the big names – and big winners – was Team Full Tilt’s Clonie Gowen. Yup, after cashing four times during the WSOP, Clonie found time in her busy schedule to take down the biggest event of her career, the $5K No-Limit event worth more nearly $438K.

With that win, Clonie has now officially earned more than $1.2 million in tournament winnings, a mere $1,199,995 more than yours truly.

In case you’ve fallen behind on the action, here’s a quick recap:

• All four Day 1s are now complete and the survivors have a small breather until Day 2A begins on Tuesday
• 6,844 players coughed up $10K for their seats, beating last year’s number by more than 400, and generating a prize pool worth more than $68 million
• 666 players will cash and the overall winner will take home more than $9.1 million in prize money – along with untold millions in extra sponsorship money

Think poker is dead yet? Yeah, neither do I. Speaking of the dead, however, there are plenty of big names who got run over by the thundering herd over the first few days of play. Notable names who won’t be winning this year’s Main Event include, in no particular order:

• Poker Babe Erica Schoenberg and her Frenchie fiancé, David Benyamine
• Gavin Smith
• Jason “George Costansza” Alexander
• One Angry Monkey’s perennial pick, Lee Watkinson
• Past champions Greg Raymer, Joe Hachem, and Jamie Gold
• Jesus
• Negreanu
• Larry Flynt
• Andy Bloch
• Phil Ivey

Big stacks moving on to Day 2 include David Oppenheim, Robert Mizrachi, and Brandon Adams. Last year’s big winner, Jerry Yang, is on life support, but still hanging around.

Of course, all of the action over the next week is just the Big Tease, as the good folks at the Rio will stop action once we reach a final table. Then its three months of rest, relaxation, intense poker lessons and bare-fisted negotiations before the final table is played out in November. Trust me, it won’t be pretty.

So, all of the bracelet events are over, except for the big one, and it’s time to tally up how your favorite FTP pros performed over the past six weeks. The short answer; pretty well.

Through the first 53 events, our gigantic stable of pros collected 10 bracelets and combined for more than $11.5 million in winnings. Leading the pack was, of course, Erick Lindgren who found his way to three final tables, won his first career bracelet, and banked more than $1.3 million.

Other pros who earned some serious cash included David Benyamine with more than $940K (three final tables, one bracelet), Andy Bloch and Chris Ferguson (two final table each and more than $650K in winnings – each).

Now that it’s officially too late to join the donkery of the 2008 WSOP, we have a suggestion for everyone who needs their fix of big MTT action – FTOPS IX.

If you haven’t noticed, satellites for the August edition of FTOPS are now available in the game and there’s plenty of reason to play. What’s plenty? How about $15 million guaranteed over 25 events?

Head over to the FTOPS page for all the details. Who knows, maybe you’ll win enough to play in next year’s WSOP?

Yeah, I’m approaching the $50K HORSE event from the wrong end, but as long as I don’t step in a big pile, who really cares?

Hold on – scratch that – what I meant to say is that this is the tourney that all the big names pros really want to win. Sure, the Main Event provides the big-ass payday that everybody wants, but the HORSE event is the bidness. 148 pros ponied up $50K each for a shot at what has become the game’s most prestigious title and, in the end, some really big names played their way to the Sweet 16, including Brunson, Bloch (15^th place), Negreanu, and Ivey (12^th place).

The final table was even more impressive, boasting names like Greenstein, Seed (7^th place), Lindgren (3^rd place) and Scotty “It’s All Over Baby” Nguyen. Lindgren, who started the final table with the chip lead, busted third and added more than $781K to his roll. Nice money to be sure. Oh, if you’re curious, second place pays more than $1.2 million while the winner grabs almost $2M.

Wow, what a shitty headline. I should apologize for that. Really, I should, but nah….

For those of you who don’t know to whom I’m referring, please meet Martin “I really need a nickname” Kläser, winner of WSOP Event 43. Why is Martin worth your time and effort? Simple – he’s a 21-year old kid with game.

Martin became a pro last October after winning our Million Euro Challenge Freeroll tournament and then beating both Chris Ferguson and Gus Hansen heads up to collect €350K. Not a bad way to start a career, if I do say so myself. Then, he followed that up by heading to Vegas last week, buying into his first ever WSOP event, and winning the whole damn thing. That’s more than another $200K in the coffers and one of those shiny bracelet things for his wrist.

!@#$% 21-year old ^%#$!# whipper-snapper punk kids. Uh, I mean, well done Martin, well done.

Now, if you’d all excuse me, I’m off to check my bankroll and cry in my beer.

But wait, before I rant too hard or too long on this subject, let’s take a look at what the show is really about. According the official press release, All In is a “fast paced, witty, very sexy, and fun show about the final nine players at the World Series of Poker who are real people from all walks of life.” Sounds thrilling so far, doesn’t it?

The release goes on to state that the show’s “clearly identifiable characters sing songs that are chock full of double entendres, poker analogies, quotes, lingo, and suggestive situations.” Oooh… reserve my seats now. Front row center, please, because I want to be as close to the rail as possible.

So, without any idea of what the actual script or on-stage production may look like, here’s a little of what I’m expecting:

• The “easily identifiable characters” will be ankle deep caricatures of some of the game’s most colorful players like “The Poker Punk” (Hellmuth), “Pammie Knight” (Duke), “Jehovah” (Ferguson), and more
• A pivotal, dramatic moment will occur when the Poker Punk crashes his motorcycle after staging a self-promotional exhibition that features him jumping over Humberto “The Chark” Brenes
• Musical highlights will include Knight’s big solo, “I’m Holding (Your) Nuts” and the closing number, “It’s All Over, Baby” featuring the Scotty Nguyen dancers

Honestly though, if there’s one thing the poker world doesn’t need right now, it’s a musical. I mean really, does anyone think that this is going to convince anyone to take poker players more seriously? Is this really the image the game wants to be sending when there’s still political fighting over the UIGEA going on in Washington and 60 Minutes cameras are filming at the Rio? Personally, I don’t think so.

As far as I can tell, this is nothing more than another ploy for Caesars, Hellmuth and everyone else involved to try and cash in on the four-month final table delay they’ve instituted for this year’s Main Event Final table. Come on, can’t you see the marketing now?

Why wait for November to see how the final table plays out? Visit the Rio Hotel in Vegas this fall to experience all of the highs, lows, and drama of the final table while enjoying a nice 32oz Porterhouse from our exclusive Poker Kitchen. Experience it all for just $59.95.

Look, I’m all for improving poker’s image and expanding the game’s base to as many potential players as possible, but I just don’t think a poker musical is gonna do the job. Who aside from the most dedicated poker-tards would even be interested in such a thing? What makes the producers think that anyone who isn’t already remotely interested in the game is going to understand the quotes and lingo they so proudly tout as an integral part of the show?

Maybe I’m wrong, but my guess is that the millions of dollars that have been sunk into this (Hellmuth wouldn’t be involved in a “cheap” production) could be better spent on something worthwhile like supporting the PPA or attracting a better class of working girl to the Rio for the Main Event. You know… something real poker players would appreciate.

If you think D-Ben had an easy time of it at the final table (he is an Omaha Hi/Lo specialist), check out the line-up he had to face:

• Tony Ma
• Jason Gray
• Ram Vaswani
• Toto Leonidas
• David Chiu
• Mike Matusow
• Greg Jamison
• Eugene Katchalov

While there are some folks there who you probably don’t recognize, consider this – Vaswani, Leonidas, Chiu and Matusow own a combined nine WSOP bracelets. That’s as many as our entire team of 1,000+ pros has won so far this year. So, Benyamine now has a WSOP bracelet, nearly $1 million in tournament winnings over the past three weeks, and Erica Schoenberg. Damn, I hate him – and not just because he’s French.

We’re not nearly as anal about keeping stats as our friends who follow baseball, but then again, we’re not nearly as geeky as they are either. Still, the FTP pros have put up some impressive numbers so far this year:

• 9 bracelets
• 41 final table appearances
• Nearly $9.5 million in combined prize money

Benyamine is leading the FTP pack with the most prize money won (still nearly $1 million) and the most final table appearances (3). Following close behind are Team Full Tilter’s Andy Bloch, Chris Ferguson, Erick Lindgren, and Mike Matusow who have each reached two final tables so far this year. Also doubling up on final table appearances are David Singer and David Chiu. Hell… forget 2008 being the Year of the Pro… it’s the Year of the Pro Named David.

Yes, it’s true… we do have a few pros who aren’t named David. In fact, our most recent non-David addition is Robert Williamson III, a long-time friend of Full Tilt Poker who finally took the plunge and started playing as a red pro last week.

A WSOP bracelet winner and yet another Omaha specialist, Robert is one of the coolest cats in the game and always good for fun stories around the table. And hell, you’ve just gotta love a guy who drinks beer with hot sauce in it, don’t ya?

Phil Ivey may be best known for ruthlessly taking his opponent’s money at the poker tables (and on the golf course… and in huge prop bets), but now the Phenom is giving something back.

You can help support Phil’s Budding Ivey Foundation to provide educational opportunities to at-risk children by – you guessed it – playing poker. Phil is holding a charity tournament at the Golden Nugget on July 1^st where a $1,000 donation and $500 “re-donations” throughout the first hour give you a chance to take down a first-place prize worth at least $10K and help some needy kids.

So, with all that in mind (out of mind?), I figured I’d just take the path of least resistance (read: laziness) and put together a list of random thoughts that have flashed through my addled brain over the past few weeks. Enjoy. I hope.

• 2008, the Year of the Pro – Ever since Nenad-Nenad Medic grabbed the very first bracelet of this year’s WSOP, it seems like the pundits have been calling this the year of the pro. Of course, the fact that a number of big name pros (Lindgren, Singer, Negreanu, Greenstein, Pescatori, etc.) have gone on to grab bracelets throughout the series – and even more have made impressive final table appearances (Andy Bloch and Chris Ferguson, anyone, anyone), seems to be adding credence to the claim.
  
  Still, for as well as the pros are running, I don’t think we can really call the 2008 Series the Year of the Pro unless a big name player takes down the Main Event. OK, maybe we can, but still, I think this title has a lot more credibility if someone other than a random donkey (cough, Yang), takes the title.

• The death of televised poker – Maybe “death” is a little strong, but it certainly seems like the game we love to loathe is in intensive care as far as broadcast television is concerned.
  
  GSN recently announced that it’s renewing High Stakes Poker, which is great news for all of us who love to watch our favorite degenerate gamblers in their natural habitat. On the other hand, the once mighty World Poker Tour has gotten the axe, and is currently being shopped around to disinterested buyers. Without a stable TV deal, it seems like the WPT could be sent to the rail and the $10K tournament circuit could be significantly smaller next year. All in all, pretty bad news for pro and amateur players alike.
  
  On the positive side, if the death of the WPT means never having to see Humberto Brenes and his annoying Chark anymore, I would personally consider this a mercy killing. See ya chum.

• It really sucks to be the Bubble Boy – Honestly, I’m not mentioning this because of any recent personal experience. Hell, I haven’t even sat at a poker table in more than two weeks (Big Donkey has been going Cold Turkey, but that’s another story).
  
  No, what brings this to mind is that, as I type, Howard Lederer just busted out of the $5K Seven-Card Stud Hi/Lo Championship one off the final table after playing for more than 16 consecutive hours. Ouch is an understatement. Even worse – fellow Team Full Tilter Chris Ferguson laid the smack down on the Professor. Still worse than that, Howard’s little sister Annie will be joining Chris at the final table when play resumes. (To say Annie has pwned Howard at past World Series would be kind, seeing as she’s personally knocked him out of four different events over the years. Ah, sibling rivalry – feel the love.)
  
  Anyway, it’s a good thing that Howard isn’t prone to tilting (as far as I know). Otherwise, a beat like that could lead a man down a very dangerous whiskey-soaked path.

• Random lists make for shitty posts – Yup, I’ll admit it. This is a pretty shitty post, even by my standards. Oh well, they can’t all be winners. If you want to see something more interesting, feel free to send your comments, stories and extra cash to us here at pokerfromtherail@fulltiltpoker.com.

Nenad Medic is a Winner

WSOP Event #1 – the $10K Pot-Limit Hold ‘em World Championship – ended in dramatic fashion early Monday morning when Nenad Medic defeated Team Full Tilt’s Andy Bloch in heads-up play to claim his first WSOP bracelet.

352 players entered the event, generating a prize pool worth more than $3.3 million and leading to a star-studded final table that didn’t disappoint. Among the big names playing for the big money were Medic and Bloch, along with spanking new Team Full Tilt member Patrik Antonius (we hear he still had that “new pro smell”, whatever that is), along with Kathy Liebert, Mike Sexton, and Phil Laak.

Antonius, who was the short stack, took home $124K for finishing seventh. Bloch, who celebrated his birthday at the final table, had his party spoiled by Medic who turned a flush to beat Bloch’s over-pair on the final hand. Andy consoled himself with $448K in prize money, while Medic took home more than $794K and the series’ first bracelet.

The WSOP by the Numbers

With only one event officially in the books, there aren’t a lot of numbers to talk about yet. But, what numbers there are, are fairly impressive:

• Four Full Tilt Poker pros finished in the money in Event #1, earning a combined $1,392,710 in prize money
• Andy Bloch had his second, second-place finish in a major WSOP tournament (sorry Andy – the bracelet will come soon)
• Nenad’s victory gives the more than 100 pros who play for Full Tilt Poker a combined 80 WSOP bracelets

Another Key Number Member

Team Full Tilt just got prettier. Before the start of Event #1’s final table, Phil Ivey, Chris Ferguson and Howard Lederer conducted a press conference at the Rio to announce that Patrik “FinddaGrind” Antonius has officially joined the site’s elite roster of Team Full Tilt members.

Since the site’s launch, Antonius is only the fifth player to be added to the original Team Full Tilt roster. The other pros who can claim this honor include Jen Harman, Mike Matusow, Gus Hansen, and Allen Cunningham.

That’s it for me today, but remember to check back regularly for the latest news from the Rio.

Honestly, I don’t know why this event isn’t doing more to spark my inner fan-boy tendencies – except for the fact that I’ve never really been that much of a fan boy to start with. Sure, I’ve gotten to meet some very cool people through this gig that I would never have come across in a million years otherwise, and I admire and respect the hell out of a lot of them. But do I live and die by the last big pot they took down online or their most recent cash in some big MTT? Not hardly.

The fact is, I’ve never really been the guy to go sweat someone at the table just because they’re a red pro or a name player. I’ll sweat someone if they’re a friend or if I have some sort of investment (monetary or otherwise) in the outcome, but otherwise, I’m happy enough to check in once in awhile for a quick status update and let them get on with their game while I do something more productive – like drink.

With all that said and my inner ambivalence bared to the world like the hole cards on the WPT (wow, I have to admit, that was stretching for a metaphor), there are some good reasons to follow the action this weekend. Firstly – this is a DAMNED BIG EVENT. A $25K buy-in is real money. It’s a car or twice the Captain’s annual salary. I mean, small African villages could live off that much money for at least three years.

Secondly, there is a shitload of talent in this field – and that’s not counting the 23 red pros like Ferguson, Ivey, Hansen and Lederer. I’m talking about big online pros like durrrr, OMGClayAiken, FakeSky and some donkey named FinddaGrind. All of these guys can play the game and, at these stakes, that means their cards really don’t matter that much. This is as close to hand-to-hand combat as poker gets: up close, personal, and not for the faint of heart. If you want to watch the best of the best play the game the way most of us aspire to, then this is must-see poker.

But, personally, I’d still rather be at the bottom of a bottle…

Needless to say, the plan has drawn decidedly mixed reviews from the poker world. Those in favor of the plan (other than Caesar’s and ESPN) say the delay is actually good for the game, as it will give the media time to develop touchy-feely features on the players and play up the “schmuck next door donked his way into a million dollar payday” stories that everyone loves to hate.

Speaking of million dollar paydays, supporters of the delay also say the move will help bring additional revenue to the table as the last nine players will have better opportunities to score lucrative endorsement deals with poker sites like FTP and other businesses interested in promoting their wares to eager poker players around the world.

The pragmatist in me doesn’t like the aforementioned arguments, but I can see the merits of these positions. The argument that really tilts me, however, is the third “positive” that supporters of this plan cite in their reasoning: the break will give the remaining competitors the chance to recharge, study the opposition and, maybe, even work with poker trainers to plug leaks in their own games or devise strategies to help them win the bracelet.

For me, this just doesn’t feel right. I know there’s precedent for this kind of thing (as Howard Lederer recently mentioned, they do the same thing in the Poker Million), but I don’t think that justifies the change. The Main Event is a poker marathon unto itself. Part of the charm (if an 8,000 player event can have charm) is that the nine final tableists have fought and battled their way through this ridiculous field, and are now playing for what are likely the highest stakes of their lives while running on absolute fumes. It’s like watching the end of a Rocky movie – the cards are flopped in the center of the table and each player takes their best shot at knocking their opponent out. It’s drama.

When the final table starts, the nine players are working based on their experiences at the table over the past 12 days of play and on whatever reads, strategies and theories they’ve developed while starting at – and across – the felt. By giving them an extended break, they’re free to rest up and take time to analyze their games and those of their opponents, and to make changes they may not have been able to otherwise.

Howard may be right in saying that each player has the same opportunities during this break and that the time off doesn’t favor any single player over another, but I’m not sure about that. In the recent past when fields got truly huge, the player who has won the Main Event is the one who had the most stamina and focus at the end of the event. The one who was able to out-think or out-play his opponent in a key hand – maybe because he was sharper or his opponent had finally succumbed to the pressure and strain of so many days of consecutive play.

By delaying the final table, that stamina factor is effectively removed from the game and that, I think, does in fact help “weaker” players who may have not survived very long at the final table in the traditional format.

Of course, there are many more arguments both for and against the new delay and many people smarter than I have already weighed in on each side of this debate. When it comes right down to it, my opinion on this matter means absolutely nothing. The decision has been made, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Yeah, we like Allen a lot. That’s why it’s nice to report that he’s achieved not one, but two, career milestones this past week. First, he won his first-ever WSOP-C title and champion’s ring, so he has a little more jewelry to flash along with his five WSOP bracelets. If that’s not enough, the more than $499K Allen took home for first place put his career tournament winnings at more than $10.1 million – good enough for fourth place on the all-time money list.

Of course, we all know that Allen – like Chuck Norris – thinks fourth place is for losers. Look for him to take this title by the end of the summer*

*This is a Big Donkey prediction and therefore, should be treated with the same gravitas as if you gave a blindfolded midget three shots of Jose Cuervo and asked him to throw darts at pictures on the wall.

OK, let me start by apologizing to Steve Martin for my homage to Navin R. Johnson’s famous phone book scene from The Jerk. Sometimes, you just can’t improve on the original. (And if you’re too young to remember The Jerk, my advice is rush right out and pick up a copy – as soon as you finish reading this blog, of course.)

Anyway, all of that is just my way of saying that FTP released a pretty big update with some cool new features that you probably want to check out. Open up the game (go ahead, we’ll wait) and check out the lobby. See all those smiley faces? That’s Happy Hour where you can earn double and triple points just by playing in ring games and tourneys. Sweet, huh?

If you’re a tournament fan, you probably want to check out the new Shootouts that the programming geeks have created for your pleasure. Playing like a combo of an SNG and MTT, shootouts give you a chance to win an entire tournament just by winning two or three individual tables. Last, but certainly not least, there are completely new Tournament Leaderboards so you can follow all of your progress as your tournament game improves. You can even create custom Leaderboards to track your favorite events.

Now, pardon me while I play the Poker From The Rail four-player, $1 SNG. The winner quadruples their bankroll.

That folks, is the scenario that played out in the Bellagio on Saturday when David Chiu staged one of the most dramatic comebacks ever seen on the felt and ended what looked like Gus’ easy march to victory in the WPT’s biggest event of the year. In case you missed the drama, here’s a quick recap of the action:

• Final table play begins with six competitors and Hansen holding the big stack
• Gus knocks four players off the table in just 22 hands and enters heads-up play with 80% of the chips in his possession
• Chiu manages a couple of key double-ups and then takes the chip lead on hand #78
• On hand #80, Chiu catches trip Aces on the river, beating Hansen’s two pair of 10s and 8s, and walks away the victor 

The win earned Chiu, a four-time WSOP bracelet winner, nearly $3.4 million in prize money – the biggest payday of his career.

In another move sure to warm the hearts of poker players all across the land (at least in the continental United States and maybe, just maybe, in Alaska and Hawaii too), Congressman Barney Frank is stepping up his efforts to stop the UIGEA in its tracks.

Frank, along with Congressional life partner Ron Paul, has authored a letter to the heads of the US Treasury and Federal Reserve warning both agencies not to spend any more time trying to implement UIGEA-related regulations. Frank and Paul go on to say the law is seriously flawed at it’s most basic level and that it would be imprudent for the agencies to “devote additional agency resources to this Sisyphean task, especially as we plan to pursue legislation to prevent the implementation of these regulations.”

Way to go Barney and Ron. Just one thing though – most members of Congress seem to have the mental agility of small soap dishes, so referencing tragic figures in Greek mythology may cause their synapses to short circuit. Still, we appreciate your Herculean efforts on behalf of online poker players everywhere.

One of the strangest stories floating around this week involves Phil Ivey and David Blaine. Yes, the Phenom and the Magic Man are apparently friendly enough to break bread – and glasses – at the Tao restaurant in Manhattan.

According to sources, Ivey offered Blaine a very tasty prop bet - $10K to eat a glass from the table. Blaine, ever the entertainer, took the bet and Ivey’s cash after smashing a “large glass” and devouring the pieces.

What gets me though are the people who know better and still intentionally slow roll. They’re the fuckers I love to felt.

In the countless hours I’ve spent in my local card room, I’ve come across two different types of slow rollers. The first is the guy I like to refer to as the “Embarrassed Idiot”. If you’ve ever played a live game, you’ve undoubtedly run into this character – he’s the one who bluffs or over-bets bottom pair all the way to the river and then tries to hide his cards at showdown.

Is he embarrassed? Without a doubt; he got caught playing shit and doesn’t want other people to know how “loose” he really is. What he doesn’t understand, however, is that everyone already knows he’s a complete and utter donkey, which is why they’re calling him down in the first place.

Here’s some simple poker etiquette for you, Mr. Idiot. If you get called on the river, you’re the one who’s supposed to show your cards first. That’s why it’s known as being called. Suck it up, table your pair of 2s or your busted straight draw and move on. It’s not like anybody else at the table is going to be surprised when they see all you have is air, and the game will keep on moving along without the agony of you and your opponent playing “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

As bad as this slow roller is, there’s someone who’s even worse. The prick who slow rolls you with the stone cold nuts. Why do I hate this guy more than the Embarrassed Idiot? Because he’s slow rolling maliciously. This guy knows he has his opponent dead to rights and he just wants to turn the knife a little more. It’s obnoxious.

I ran into one of the princes just the other week when I successfully bluffed my way out of a $500 tournament. I raised the small blind and got called by the big blind. Not so bad. The flop comes 4-7-8 with two diamonds and I lead out. He min-raises and I have a decision. After determining he was on a draw (oops) I jam and he goes into the tank – with a made hand. After about 30 seconds of agonized “debate”, he announced “I think I have odds to call here” before turning over 5-6 and showing me the nuts.

I’ve just bluffed my way out of the tournament and you know, I feel really good about my play, so I’m glad you decided to take that cheap shot just for fun. That’s special. Prick.

All I can say to you, sir, is that Karma is a bitch. Does this mean I’ll slow roll you if I ever get the chance? Probably not – but I may tip the son-of-a-bitch who does.

545 players started the event, and 421 of them will return for the start of Day 2 today. Four Full Tilt Poker pros are currently camped near the top of the leaderboard, with Kenny Tran and Robert Mizrachi holding down third and fourth places, and Jordan Morgan and David Benyamine sitting in sixth and seventh.

Team Full Tilter Erik Seidel, who is currently leading the Player of the Year points race, will start the day in 85^th position while Phil Ivey is lurking in 107^th spot. Ivey needs to finish this event in fourth place or better to claim the Player of the Year title. Two other notable Team Full Tilter’s in today’s field are Howard “the Professor” Lederer and Chris “Jesus” Ferguson, who are each playing in their first WPT event since 2006.

Chris, Howard, Phil Gordon, Andy Bloch and Annie Duke have all boycotted WPT events since filing suit against the tour over issues related to the player release form used by the WPT. Tour officials announced a settlement of the lawsuit Saturday and Chris and Howard immediately celebrated by buying their way into the Bellagio event.

There are few things likely to grab a railbird’s attention than someone sitting with a seven-figure bankroll at an online table. Especially when that player is a red pro playing $1K/$2K Limit Hold ‘em.

So, it’s no surprise that Markus Golser was the fan favorite last week when he re-bought into a match with Hoss_TBF for a cool $1 million. Golser’s massive re-buy followed what many of us would likely classify as a horrendous run, dropping 10 consecutive $20K buy-ins to Hoff. That’s $200K, in case you lost count.

Did the big stack pay off for the Austrian pro? Not so much – he still ended the session down more than $200,000, but if nothing else, he gave the rail something to chatter about for awhile.

Sometimes you get dogged by the competition and other times, you get to do the dogging. But as long as you’re playing poker for a good cause, Jen Harman doesn’t care.

Last weekend, 274 of Jen’s friends turned out at the Venetian to play poker and support her second-annual Nevada SPCA Fundraiser. Players like Howard Lederer, Phil Ivey and Gavin Smith all turned out to support Jen’s pet project and raise money for the state’s no-kill shelters. If that wasn’t enough, Jen helped raise additional funds for her furry friends by holding a charity auction where players and fans could bid on tons of cool poker and sports memorabilia, including one lucky man who bought Doyle Brunson’s trademark Stetson right off Texas Dolly’s head.

In addition to providing Seidel with his first career WPT Championship, his victory puts him at the top of the CardPlayer Player of the Year standings, three spots ahead of fellow Team Full Tilter Phil Ivey and four spots ahead of defending champion, David Pham.

Seidel chose not to follow up his victory with a trip to Monte Carlo for the EPT Grand Finale, but a few other pros made the journey to the Cote d’Azur. When Day 3 kicked off on Monday, Rino Mathis, Dario Alioto, and Thomas Wahlroos all had very playable chip stacks. Will any of them go on to win? I’d like to say so, but with this much play left, not even a Donkey of my caliber will go out on a limb and predict victory yet.

The poker forums have been buzzing all weekend over the announcement that ePassporte is no longer accepting online poker-related transactions. That’s right – they’ve closed their borders and not even a valid Visa (or MasterCard) will let you deposit to sites like FTP using ePassporte.

While ePassporte has yet to issue an official statement to users, a letter posted online states the company has made its decision in light of “a widespread investigation of Internet gambling, including poker, by the United States Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York.” ePassporte’s letter goes on to say that the company does not believe it has violated any laws, but “we do not wish to be associated with anything that might be considered illegal by the United States government.”

In happier news, Congressmen Barney Frank and Ron Paul have recently introduced new legislation designed to prevent implementation of the controversial UIGEA regulations. Specifically, H.R. 5767 will “forbid the Secretary of the Treasury and the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System from proposing, prescribing, or implementing any regulation that requires the financial services industry to identify and block Internet gambling transactions.”

While calling this a move to repeal the UIGEA may be a little strong, Frank and Paul certainly don’t pull any punches in outlining the flaws they see in the legislation. “These regulations are impossible to implement without placing a significant burden on the payments system and financial institutions” writes Frank. Adds Paul, “The ban on Internet gambling infringes on two freedoms that are important to many Americans: the ability to do with their money as they see fit, and the freedom from government interference with the Internet.”

The bill has been referred to the House Committee on Financial Services for further action, and we’ll keep track of its progress through the legislature.

Until then, keep playing – and keep reading.

Really, that’s it. But, here’s the good thing – much of the talk was from people who say the UIGEA as currently written is, for all intents and purposes, completely unworkable. In short, the banking industry dislikes the law because it forces them to police their clients’ transactions and block those that might be earmarked for “illegal gaming”. What’s more, the Justice Department can’t even help make their lives easier by identifying what constitutes “illegal gaming”.

So, what does all this mean for us? For now, more of the same, but industry representatives and online poker proponents liked what they heard. As the Poker Players Alliance posted on their site, “… the hearing was a huge success that verified what the PPA and others have been saying all along: prohibition does not work. It also reaffirmed our position that there is no federal statute that would preclude someone from playing a game of skill, like poker, on the Internet.”

For even more reasoned commentary on the state of online poker, check out what two pretty bright guys name Andy and Chris had to say in Washington on the eve of last week’s hearing.

Wow, that was bad. Even by my standards. Sorry. Really, I am.

With that out of the way, I’ll get to meat of this entry which is this; Erik Seidel is having another good run at a high-profile tournament. As of this writing, Erik is sitting in 11^th place out of 33 remaining players at the Foxwoods Poker Classic in lovely Ledyard, Connecticut.

When play resumes today, Erik will be sitting with 417,500 chips, which is about half as many as chip leader Allen Bari has in front of him. But with blinds at 4K/8K with a 1K ante, there’s still plenty of play left. And with eight WSOP bracelets to his name and only a couple of other name players left in the event (Paul Darden in 10^th and Ted Forrest in 12^th), we think Seidel has a pretty good chance of adding another trophy to his collection.

In news entirely unrelated to poker, Charlton Heston has passed away. If there is a heaven, hopefully they don’t let in those damn dirty apes. Otherwise, Chuck is in big trouble.

In honor of the passing of Moses, The Captain will now part the Red Sea and turn the doomswitch off (for a limited time only). Then we’ll stage a chariot race around the office because, well, we really have nothing better to do.

We’ll be back next week barring any life threatening injuries suffered in the race. And if one of us doesn’t make it we’ll have a nice supply of Soylent Green on hand. Mmmm, tastes like chicken…

With 2,590 points, David is less than 350 points behind Michael “Don’t Call Me a Doobie Brother” McDonald and only 20 points behind some donkey phenom named Ivey. Now, we’re not going to go out and predict that the Pham-tastic one will pull down back-to-back titles but… oh hell, sure we are.

Keep watching this space and the POY leaderboard to see if we’re right.

This is a big week for those of us who like to play a little online poker from time to time. That’s because there’s a Congressional hearing scheduled for Wednesday that could help determine whether the controversial UIGEA bill is actually enforced – or is even enforceable.

Entitled “Proposed UIGEA Regulations: Burden Without Benefit?”, the hearing is the first time Congress will hear concerns raised by the general public and affected business interests (the banks) regarding the legislation. While no one expects Wednesday’s hearing will result in any immediate action from Congress, it could help to pave the way for passage of new legislation that would overturn the bill and – hopefully – clarify the legality of online poker once and for all.

For those of you really into Robert’s Rules of Order, you can follow the live hearing here starting at 10AM ET on Wednesday.

Two red pros are among the month’s biggest winners on the site, according to our friends who track this info over at the High Stakes DB.

Leading the pack is March’s Million Dollar Man, Brian Hastings, who’s pulled down more than seven figures at the PLO tables. Following close behind is Erica Schoenberg’s main main, David Benyamine, who scooped about $976K off the tables over the past month.

In the NLH games, relative unknown yossarian_2_ has made a splash by taking down more than $330K over the past 31 days.

Hence the beauty of online poker. The puritans among us (and Massachusetts knows something about puritans) will argue that sites like FTP make it too easy for the common degenerate to log on and blow their rent money playing high-stakes Omaha. And they have a valid point – to a point. Yes, the Internet does make it easy for players from around the world to find their favorite games anytime they want – from anywhere in the world. It’s one of the marvels of our modern society and I for one am greatly appreciative of this fact. Just because some people may misuse or abuse this ability, however, is no reason to criminalize the act of playing poker online. Especially when, in the same breath, you’re saying that it’s perfectly fine for these same people to hop in the car and drive to their local casino for their poker fix.

It’s no secret that I love playing poker as much – if not more – than the next guy. I play a lot. The thing is, I know that whether I’m running hot or cold, I can easily get up from the table any time I want and walk away from the game. Not everyone can, and that’s too bad. Another person’s addiction – or potential addiction - however is no excuse to criminalize my ability to play poker from the comfort of my home.

Sure, people like Patrick can argue that online poker enables players with addictive personalities by putting the temptation to gamble no further away than their laptop. To this I say, so what? The fact is that in a free society, the choice of whether to play poker or not should be left up to individuals and not the government. What people like Patrick don’t get is that while the folks who run sites like Full Tilt Poker want to make it as easy as possible for their players to find seats in their favorite games, they don’t want these players to start flinging cards to the detriment of their families or livelihoods. In fact, sites like FTP go so far as to give players who think they may have a problem the option to self-exclude themselves from playing online for anywhere from 12 hours to permanently.

One of the rights that comes with adulthood is the ability to make decisions for ourselves. Sometimes we’ll make good choices and sometimes we’ll make bad ones, but so long as we’re not hurting ourselves or someone else, those choices should remain up to us. It’s not the government’s place to act as some sort of nanny telling us what’s in our best interest, especially when they say you can’t play online poker, but playing in a casino is just fine. Oh, and don’t forget your mittens and your hat because it’s not too late to catch a nasty cold on your way to the car.

So, what’s your point you may ask. Just this… I’m all for poker in all of its forms. Live games, online games, hell… Chinese poker games in restaurants. I’ve played them all and I think every other poker player should have the same opportunity to break out a deck of cards or a laptop and play whatever game they want from wherever they want at whatever time they want to play.

It’s all about freedom of choice – something that the fine people of Massachusetts should know all about.

Oh yeah – Jen is all about the puppies, the kittens, the Panamanian bloodsucking grill-toothed wombat… whatever. She’s an animal lover and this past weekend, she and a few friends hit the virtual tables to help support one of her pet projects – the Nevada Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

The special $5 + $5 charity tourney raised more than $15,000 for the NSPCA and drew out some big names from both the poker and the extreme sports worlds (if you haven’t seen Howard Lederer throw a 540 McTwist, you’re really missing something by the way). Some of the players who came out for the cause include Jen’s fellow FTP pros Berry Johnston, David Chiu, Scott Fischman, Mandy B, and Marco Traniello, along with folks like snowboarding phenom Shaun White and skateboard legend Tony Hawk.

It’s no secret that we play for peanuts. Combined, the authors of this blog have a bankroll that – on a good day – may be able to buy a cup of coffee and a burrito. Still, that doesn’t stop us from dreaming of playing with the big boys.

Then we see how much money is really moving across the tables in the high-stakes games, and we go back to our 1,000 player Freerolls.

So far this month, our friends at High Stakes Database say one of the FTP’s newest pros – Team CardRunners’ Brian Hastings – is leading the way when it comes to raking in the dough, pulling in about $544K in the Pot-Limit Omaha games. Also running well this month are KobyTAPOUT with $379K and Durr who’s pulled down a little more than $300K.

The always popular Ziigmund is again leading the way in the NLH games with more than $405K in winnings. He’s followed by pr1nnyraid with $228K and, in a distant third, perkyshmerky with $46K in winnings.

This past weekend was every Tilter’s favorite Sunday tourney – the monthly Million. Seven figures worth of guaranteed prize money brought 2,245 players to the tables and pumped the prize pool up to more than $1.1 million.

When all was said and done Piotinus won the tourney’s final hand and walked away with the big prize – nearly $206K in nice green bills just in time for St. Paddy’s Day.

Did someone say St. Paddy’s Day? My god, how did this green beer get into my hand? It’s almost as good as finding a wee pot of gold beneath a shimmering rainbow…

We may just be getting older and crankier (it’s certainly not wiser), but it seems that every day there’s some new Internet whiz-kid tearing up cash games and earning more in a month than the GDP of some small Caribbean countries. Frankly, it’s getting hard to tell them all apart because:

• Everyone looks the same on the Internets and
• We’re much too uncool to understand all the pop culture references and l33t h@X0r language embedded in all their screen names.

Thankfully, some of these young whippersnappers have gotten themselves organized into an easy-to-identify group, which means the big wigs upstairs wasted no time in adding them to our roster of red pros.

So please join us in giving a big Poker From The Rail welcome to Team CardRunners who we hope will provide us with better advice than the Captain, who suggests taking a shot with each new orbit. (Don’t get us wrong, the Captain’s games are fun, but our bankrolls and our livers seem to suffer a little bit more after each session.)

Anyway, look for Taylor Caby, Brian Townsend, Mike Schneider, Brian Hastings, Cole South, Andrew Wiggins and Eric Liu playing under their real-life names on FTP.

Ziigmund (believed to be Finnish pro Ilari Sahamies, who looks like this) is the proud winner of our biggest pot of the week at FTP. The hand went down at one of our $200/$400 Pot-Limit Omaha tables when Ziigmund clashed with TheOcean0 in a hand worth a tidy $319K. Take that lol donkament players.

Just in case you’re wondering what this has to do with poker, Chuck Norris is a real-life poker player. Of course this profile seems to be a little inaccurate, seeing as Chuck Norris would have roundhouse kicked his way to every WSOP, WPT, EPT and any remaining poker tournament titles known to man.

We also found this fact about his poker ability on the Internet – which means it must be true:

"Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, a green number 4 from Uno, and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.”

Well that’s it folks, stay tuned for next week when we sign Mikey the poker-playing monkey, and reminisce about our favorite scenes from Walker: Texas Ranger.

*Huck Seed did win the Canadian Open Poker Championship Main Event this past week – a $5K buy-in Heads Up tournament that we would normally mention but then we realized, Huck was playing in Canada. Huck also recently finished third in the National Heads-Up Poker Championship – a proper poker tournament on which we congratulate him for his fantastic result.

Sure, he doesn’t play a whole lot of tournament poker anymore and, with a cash game record like his, why would he? Still, when Ivey decides he wants to compete, there’s almost no one in the world who can stop him.

During the week, Phil didn’t play so much like a man possessed as much as he did a man in possession of all his faculties. He was aggressive, unrelenting, and well… he was Phil Frickin’ Ivey, damn it. We heard Hellmuth tried looking into Ivey’s soul and what he saw caused him to run from the table like a little girl. We don’t know for sure, but we’re hoping for confirmation soon.

What we do know is that after making a record eighth final table appearance at a WPT event, Phil finally walked away with a title and about $1.6 million in cold, hard cash that we’re sure will find its way back into the gambling economy sometime soon.

So, I had a conversation the other night where a friend was claiming that Chris Ferguson had to be the odds-on favorite heading into the final four of the National Heads-Up Championship. Chris has made the finals two of the past three years, my friend argued, and hell… he’s Jesus. You never bet against Jesus.

Now I’m a big fan of Chris. He’s a hell of a guy and a much better player than I’ll ever hope to be, but when you’re talking about him, Andy Bloch, Phil Ivey, and Huck Seed sitting down to play heads-up poker, how much of a favorite can he really be?

Yeah… I’m a moron.

Turns out, Chris is really that good and there’s a reason he’s made the final table so often. Apparently, there’s more than just luck to this game. In Chris’ case, there’s a shiny new title and $500K he can use to feed the poor, shelter the homeless, and buy a new Stetson.

Congratulations to Chris… I promise I’ll believe from now on.

We promised And More and damn it, we deliver. In true poker-shillery, we just want to make sure you, our loyal reader (there’s gotta be at least one of you, right?) knows about some of the cool new features available on Full Tilt Poker – the most awesome-est online poker site in the world.

So, the next time you log on for a game, be sure to check out things like:

• T$s
• Player notes in the main game and tournament lobbies
• Auto top-up in ring games
• The control your own “Doom Switch” setting*

That’s it from here…

*Postponed until future notice

All the big names were there – except for those who were still stuck at the LAPC final table; Harman, Lederer, Ferguson, Negreanu, Greenstein, Brunson… Yang? Yup, that’s right - Jerry Yang was gettin’ down with his bad self and partying with the big boys at Pure. I can just picture it now… Jerry with a double martini and a couple of 20-something blondes hanging off each arm… the Pimp Daddy of the party. Uh, no.

In fact, I have to wonder what he was doing at this gathering in the first place. Yeah, I know he’s the reigning WSOP Main Event Champion, but is that really enough to merit granting this poker peon one of the 64 seats at this weekend’s National Heads-Up Poker Championship? Personally, I don’t think so, but then again… I’m the Big Donkey.

Thankfully for Yang, he drew one of the softest match-ups possible for his first round return to the national stage in Las Vegas (he’s been conspicuously absent from the poker scene, if you haven’t noticed… oh wait… that’s why you haven’t noticed). Uh, where was I? Oh, yeah… the Preacher of Poker will sit down against the Godfather of the online poker revolution and the man who first proved that anyone can win a major title, Chris Moneymaker.

Sure, Chris hasn’t really done much since he first burst onto the scene a few years ago, but if I was a betting man (ahem), I’d be putting my money on Money to breeze through this first round match. Other players who I think will benefit from the luck of the draw in the first round include Andy Bloch, who should step all over dancing fool Shannon Elizabeth, Ted Forrest who should easily strike out former Dodger’s pitcher Orel Hershiser (?), and Phil Ivey who, even after staying up all night to claim his first WPT title at the LA Poker Classic, will easily outshine Alisha Kunze. Who?

As far as I’m concerned, the Diamonds bracket should be the most difficult and entertaining bracket of the year, with some amazing first-round pairings including David Pham vs. Brian Townsend, Barry Greenstein vs. Howard Lederer, and Erick Lindgren vs. Eli Elezra. Of course, this is also the most MILF-tastic bracket, with what will surely be the feature table on NBC’s coverage – Jennifer Tilly vs. Clonie Gowen.

Like many other poker-themed shows currently filling up the airwaves, the National Heads-Up Championship is a made-for-TV event, and that’s OK. Sure, the commentary may be insufferable and NBC will spend 10 minutes of every hour pimping their post-strike primetime programming, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be some great poker played by some of the game’s brightest stars. I mean where else can you watch grizzled Sam Grizzle take on the brash Jean-Robert Bellande or revel in the classic Vegas match-up that is sure to be Doyle Brunson vs. Sammy Farha?

What I really like about this event is that it really lets you see how the players’ personalities define their styles. When you watch Negreanu bounce around in his chair like a kid who missed his daily dose of Ritalin you quickly come to understand how he developed his hyper-aggressive style. The same goes for someone like Chris Ferguson, who’s on the complete other end of the spectrum. Jesus plays a slow, methodical game because he’s a methodical kind of guy. Personally, I’m never sure if I find it more entertaining when two similar players meet head-to-head or when you get huge style contrasts staring each other down across the table. Each scenario is dramatic, and each can lead to some amazing poker.

For a poker junkie, this is the definition of Must See TV, and I don’t plan on missing a single second of the coverage. So, break out your brackets and your beer and join me in front of the TV. I’m putting my money on John Juanda to win the whole thing. Any takers?