Heads Up: Howard Lederer Versus Karina Jett

Posted by One Angry Monkey | Filed under Heads Up

Welcome back to another round of the Full Tilt Poker Heads-Up Challenge, where we take 64 of our top pros and pit them against one another like abused dogs picked up off the street by Michael Vick. This week’s match features number one seed Howard “The Professor” Lederer taking on the 16 seed Karina Jett. Can you say mismatch? Oh well, let’s just get this formality out of the way so we can move on to greener pastures.

As always, this competition has very little to do with actually poker and we apologize in advance to anyone who we might offend (except for Mike Vick – fuck that guy). We just need to look busy for when our boss walks by the office, so we spend our time on this thrilling endeavor. Check out the full tournament bracket below, now on to the fight:

Category	Howard Lederer	Karina Jett	Survey Says
Career Earnings	Over $4.7 million	Over $100K	Wow, now that’s what they call disparity. Ring one up for Lederer.
Major Titles	Two WSOP bracelets, two WPT titles	Nada	Two plus two equals greater than zero. Lederer takes down another category.
Tournament Play	The Professor is probably one of the best tournament players in the game today.	Karina has experienced some success in tourney play, especially Ladies events, but has yet to go the distance.	This just isn’t a fair fight. Howard’s looking like he could put up a shut out here.
Cash Game Play	Not his specialty, but a respected cash game player nonetheless.	Karina can certainly hold her own in the cash games, and has been known to rake it in during the side games of major tourneys.	When contemplating this category, we always ask ourselves who we’d rather be sitting next to at a cash game. We’d pick Karina, if only not to lose quite as much money. Plus she’s better looking than Howard. No offense Howard, we think you’re an attractive guy and all, but… What were we talking about? Oh yeah, Howard four, Karina zero.
Best Game	Limit Hold ‘em	Seven-Card Stud	How do we even judge this category? Both of these games are boring as hell. We all know that the only true poker game is No-Limit Hold ‘em. With that being said, we’ll go with Lederer on this one, at least he’s got the wrong version of the right game.
Table Talk	Eloquent, sophisticated, thought-provoking.	Not known as a talker, but who needs to talk when your looks can kill?	We’d like to give this one to Karina just so she can avoid putting up a donut. But on the other hand, we really like donuts. Mmmm, donuts. Howard marches on to perfection.
Nickname	The Professor	Chip Jett’s Wife	Karina has no nickname, so we had to come up with that one on the fly. Pretty original, huh? On the other hand, “The Professor” is one of the cooler poker nicknames out there. Lederer is oh-so-close to the shut out.
Outside Poker	Successful businessman	Successful mother of two	Howard works closely with some poker website, which is not to be named. We fear for our jobs if we don’t give this category to him.
All In The Family	Howard’s sister Annie Duke is a successful poker player.	Karina’s husband Chip Jett is also a successful poker player.	Hmmm. This is a tough one. We really do love Annie, but Chip is a Full Tilt Pro. We might have to go with Chip on this one, thus husband saves wife from getting blanked. What a stand up guy that Chip is.

So there you have it. Howard takes down Karina by a score of eight to one, nearly pitching a perfect game in the process. That’s a shame. Who the hell comes up with these categories anyway? It’s like this competition is rigged or something. Rigged just like a certain poker website, which shall remain nameless. Check back next week for more fun, the good times just keep on rolling here.