Reader Mail: FTOPS Is Coming!

Posted by One Angry Monkey | Filed under Reader Mail

Welcome back to another round of the crazy circus we like to call Reader Mail. Thanks again to The All-In-Uit for taking over last week – she did one hell of a job filling in for me (not to mention putting me in my place − that was the pwning of a lifetime). Anyway, I can guarantee you that this week’s Reader Mail will not feature any questions from Russians trying to sell me Viagra (insert four-hour erection joke here) – everything else is fair game. Email us at pokerfromtherail@fulltiltpoker.com with any questions, comments, or cool anecdotes about that time you saw Phil Hellmuth make a complete ass-hat of himself. And yes, all that was just an excuse for me to say ass-hat – on to the show:

What happens to the money in my account if I die? And more to the point, what if I die in the middle of a hand?

There’s nothing like a morbid question to start the day off right. Now, I’ve been accused by some of my colleagues of being overly sarcastic in answering some of these questions, so I’m going to try and answer this question without a hint of sarcasm.

What would happen if you died mid-hand? Who gives a crap? You’re already dead. If you journey on to the afterlife and are worried about what happened in the last hand of poker you were playing, this is a sign that your priorities are just slightly out of whack. I’m of the mindset that there are very few things in this life that take precedence over poker, but death is probably on that short list. Other things more important than poker: having a nice pint of the black stuff everyday after work, making sure you put on a clean pair of skivvies each morning (unless you’re like The Captain and prefer to go Commando), putting a bib on The All-In-Uit to collect the drool anytime she’s looking at a picture of Patrik Antonius, and remembering to switch out Big Donkey’s vitamin collection with the appropriate anti-depressants so he doesn’t lose that happy feeling he’s had going for him lately.

As for what actually happens to the money in your account if you die, I’m not too sure on that one. I’m going to assume it involves a fair amount of legal-ese and somehow winds up getting passed on to your family. You know, cause we’re nice like that.

So I was absolutely pwning a $.25/$.50 NL table the other night when I realized it was actually a play money table. Is there anyway I can get my winnings turned into real money?

(Shaking head vigorously.)

I registered for a tourney the other night that I thought was No-Limit, but it turned out to be a Limit tourney. Can I have my money back?

(Quietly sobbing.)

I just noticed that FTOPS VIII is coming soon. Are you planning on playing in any events?

Ah, it feels good to have a question I can answer with a straight face. As of this moment, I’m trying my best to follow Chris Ferguson’s bankroll management rules, which means no buying into any MTTs for more than 2% of my total bankroll. Needless to say, it looks like I’ll have to stick with the $1 donkaments for a while longer. I will be trying my best to satellite into a few of the FTOPS events, but with the implementation of T$s on the site I’m more likely to unregister from any tourney I win an entry to than actually play in it.

With all that said, here are a few of the events I’d love to play in if they started paying me in Canadian Dollars rather than Pesos. Put me on the list for Events #9, #11, #16, #21, and the Main Event. And yes, if you noticed that all of these events have at least $1 million in guaranteed prize money, you win a prize (editor’s note: no prizes will be given, One Angry Monkey must be drunk again). I’d also love to play in Event #14, a turbo NL Hold ‘em tourney hosted by Mandy B, if only for the possibility that I’d end up at the same table as her and be able to serenade her with my rendition of “Oh Mandy.” Barry Manilow ain’t got nothing on me – that guy is a freak and a very weird dude IMO…

Tags: Chris Ferguson, FTOPS