Posted by One Angry Monkey | Filed under Reader Mail
Dot your Ts, cross your Is, and button your zippers – it’s time for a little Reader Mail. There’s a lot to get to this week, so we’re going to get right to it. Email us at pokerfromtherail@fulltiltpoker.com with any comments, questions, or recipes for a nice Haggis – because sometimes you just have to eat a sheep’s stomach. On to the show…
What’s the deal with these lowlife railbirds asking for money? Can you please ban all of them before I go completely mental?
I too get mega-tilted by the railbirds squawking for loose change. “Can someone please loan me $5? I promise to pay it back with 10% interest.” Yeah right, junior – I’m going to transfer you some of my hard earned money so you can go blow it on a few $1 SNGs or playing $.05/$.10 PLO. Get a job. Hell, get a life. Do you really have so much time in your day that you can sit around begging people for a handout?
And while banning every railbird who asks for a transfer is nearly impossible – we just… can’t… do it captain, we don’t have the manpower – I propose we put a stop to this right here and now. I am issuing a decree which shall be heard across the entire inter-webs: NO MORE ONLINE PANHANDLING! Violators of this rule shall be dealt with on a case by case basis, with the most likely scenario being that we’ll hunt you down like the dogs that you are and have Big Donkey tell you bad beat stories until you’ve lost the will to live. You’ve all been fairly warned…
I really suck at poker, will you be my coach? I can’t pay you much, but I’ve got a huge collection of pocket lint that’s all yours if you want it.
As tempting as the offer of pocket lint is, I’m afraid that would still be overpaying me. I keep trying to tell you all that I really suck at poker. I mean really, really badly. I suck at poker worse than Paris Hilton sucks at life. And yes, that is the first (and hopefully last) Paris Hilton reference you’ll encounter on this blog. At least until she puts out her next sex tape.
So no, I will not be your coach. Poker is a game where it’s best to learn through trial and error. I’m not saying that having a coach or mentor isn’t helpful to some people, but most of your knowledge should come through experience. Having friends to talk about certain hands and situations with can also be helpful, but only if you actually want to improve your game. As the saying goes (at least the one I just made up), self-improvement is for losers.
I lose every time I have pocket Aces. Should I just stop playing them?
I hear a lot of this chatter online: “My Aces never hold up, I don’t even bother anymore.” Really, you’re not going to play the best starting hand in the game? I know it hurts when your pocket rockets get cracked, but that’s poker baby. It’s Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, and if you don’t enjoy the ups and downs and twists and turns then you should get off the ride before you start projectile vomiting.
Pocket Aces really aren’t that big of a favorite against any hand – you just can’t be too surprised when they don’t hold up on a consistent basis. And if all you’re doing is waiting to be dealt pocket Aces, Kings, or Queens then you’re going to take your fair share of bad beats. I used to play a much tighter style than I do right now, and I’d take a disproportionate amount of bad beats. Now that I’ve loosened up a bit, I notice myself giving as many bad beats as I take. There’s a balance to my poker force – I’ve got both the upside and the downside of the Schwartz working for me. Sometimes I get sucked out on; sometimes I’m the one doing the sucking out. That’s the way it should be.
So if you think you’re better off folding your Aces pre-flop, you’re in need of some serious attitude adjustment. The old “if I can’t win I won’t even try” bit isn’t working. Might I suggest the “I know I’m going to lose but I might get lucky here,” or even the “I know this girl is way out of my league but maybe she enjoys spending time with fat, ugly guys who smell like a combination of baby powder and creamed corn.” You know, because even the losers get lucky sometimes…
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