Reader Mail: One Sarcastic Monkey

The All-In-Uit — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 13:45:18 +0000

Welcome to yet another week of what we here like to call Reader Mail. I apologize for One Angry Monkey’s absence, the last time I saw him he picked up a trash can, threw it through the office window and ran away screaming – it’s a damn shame our office is on the third floor. The only clue to his actions was the glimpse of an open email from someone called “The Chi” on his monitor before it strangely melted into oblivion. If you would like to extend get-well wishes, or ask some real questions now that you have the opportunity, send an email to pokerfromtherail@fulltiltpoker.com.

Why is the One Angry Monkey so sarcastic? People ask really good legitimate questions and I would like to read a proper answer.

Ah the age-old question – what makes people the way they are? We’re not sure if it is nature, nurture, or a severe lack of both, but the One Angry Monkey certainly lacks a softer side.

Even if my sullen fellow scribe wanted to provide some genuine advice, I’m not sure he could. “Poker From the Rail” isn’t just a blog name to One Angry Monkey, it’s the story of his poker-playing life. If you’re not picking up what I’m putting down, searching for sage poker advice from someone who has a bankroll equivalent in value to a cheeseburger is not the way to go.

As a tribute to the One Angry Monkey, I will say most people have the sense not to ask questions when they know they won’t like the answers. Sure that means we don’t get a lot of questions but whatever buddy, this isn’t the Care Bears factory – go find a more gentler poker forum like hmm, NWP, wait no 2+2, hold on umm, FCP and voice your opinion there.

I think I’m pretty hot stuff, how do I become a Full Tilt Poker pro?

Hey there hot stuff, welcome to the FTP stable. Ha, gotcha! You really thought it was going to be that easy didn’t you? I’m not saying we don’t share the same sentimonies but apparently there is a little more to it.

Given that none of us are qualified (or will ever be qualified) to give you an answer, I think a good start might be to win stuff. And by stuff I don’t mean a $7 pot in .05/.10 NL, I’m thinking some kind of unmentionable event where they give you a bracelet and a pile of cash at the end, or a tournament with a 3-letter acronym – they’re all the rage these days.

Lucky for you Roland de Wolfe wrote a comprehensive guide on winning those pesky Main Events – put it to good use and come back to us when we can look up your name on The Hendon Mob and actually find something.

Poker is destroying my marriage. Please help.

At last check none of us Poker From the Railers have ever been married. Nor have we ever played anything that could be classed as poker (boom-tish). Given how under-qualified I am to provide advice on this topic I really should stop here but I just can’t let a loyal reader down.

All I can say is live in the moment – games are certainly tougher than they used to be, and with all the information available on the inter-webs, even my micro-stakes NL tables are filled with crazy 3-betting TAGs and LAGs. Load up six tables of $2/$4 NL and isolate those 63/5/1 donks like there’s no tomorrow.

Remember– there’s always plenty of fish in the sea.

P.S. Please send us a trip report.

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Reader Mail: One Sarcastic Monkey

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Reader Mail: One Sarcastic Monkey