The equivalent of these nose-bleed levels online can be found on Full Tilt poker, generally in the gamble-it-up game of Pot Limit Hold’em or the recently added 7-game mix cash game tables. It is not uncommon to see up to a half dozen tables running during the weekend at $2,000/$4,000 limits with a waitlist once the 6-max limit is reached. The average post size reaches up to $20,000 and they are seeing over 100 hands per hour. Players looking for big cash game action make this their first stop.

In the recent years, the king of these huge games has become newly minted Team Full Tilt member Tom “durrrr” Dwan. He began his poker career by reportedly loading $50 online and tearing through the low limit SnG’s, now he can be found challenging and felting some of the world’s best players including Phil Ivey, Patrik Antonius, Gus Hansen, and David Benyamine. He has seen daily swings in the 7 figures but also claims to have never gone broke since he began playing. That alone is an incredible feat that very few poker players can claim.

This weekend in Las Vegas, during the November Nine celebrations, it was announced that Dwan would now be a member of Team Full Tilt. While there are quite a few Full Tilt pros, it’s very rare for a player to be added to the Team and no players since Patrik Antonius joined the roster nearly 18 months ago. Dwan joins such big guns as Phil Ivey, Howard Lederer, Chris Ferguson, John Juanda, and others. “Tom is sort of the first wave of great players, who really cut his teeth on the internet but he’s showing that he’s going to be around for a long time,” Lederer praised their newest member, “I feel like Tom’s really our first player that learned his craft online. The new breed.”

Most people know Dwan more recently for his “durrrr Challenge” which he is currently running against Patrik Antonius. Quick primer: Dwan put up $1,500,000 of his own money versus Antonius’ $500,000 that he could win more playing 4 tables simultaneous again Antonius in Heads Up Pot Limit Omaha with $200/$400 being the minimum stakes for 50,000 hands. The Challenge has been running for awhile with both players actively seeking soft spots in the large cash games. Dwan currently leads by just under $800,000 but the swing in that game can be massive. (Link for the “durrrr Challenge” Stats page)

In addition to all the perks for being a team member, Full Tilt has also launched his very own website Tom “durrrr” Dwan and he will now join the stable of players blogging for the site at “durrrr Poker Blog”. He’ll be updating his blog on a regular basis and didn’t waste any time mentioning a new challenge with his very first post.

In just a few short days he will kick off the Full Tilt Poker Durrrr Million Dollar Challenge in London. A live version of his online challenge where he will now go Heads Up from November 17th to 19th against such pros as Ilari “Ziigmund” Sahamies and Marcello “Luckexpress” Marigliano. Big talker Sammy George also returns after his first go-round in September. There will $1,000,000 on the table for either Pot Limit Omaha or No Limit Hold’em.

A fine way to start his career with Team Full Tilt. You can find Dwan’s welcome video on his brand new official Full Tilt Poker bio page.

You can find a video of “durrrr” press conference with Howard Lederer, Chris Ferguson, and Patrik Antonius after the jump as well as the new links and resources you’ll want to bookmark.

Tom “durrrr” Dwan joins Team Full Tilt (press release)
Tom “durrrr” Dwan website
Tom” durrrr” Dwan Poker Blog
“durrrr” Challenge
“durrrr” Challenge Stats Page

Post from: Poker From The Rail

Tom “durrrr” Dwan – Newest Member of Team Full Tilt

Related posts:

1. Tom “durrrr” Dwan starts his HU Challenge
2. durrrr Challenge Stats Tracker
3. durrrr Challenge update and Patrik Antonius interview

With that said, I’ll be attempting to match as many quotes as I can from that great cornerstone of American culture, The Simpsons, to our very own Full Tilt Poker pros. Some of the quotes will be stretches; some of the quotes have been so dead on that I couldn’t use them for fear of reprisal; some of the quotes I’ve picked simply because they’re so damn funny. One other note before I get started: I’ve nicked most of these quotes from various online sources, none of which I trust in terms of accuracy. So if you notice anything wrong, please don’t freak out and send me angry emails about how I’ve desecrated a classic piece of pop culture. Hey, we all make mistakes, right?

Today I’ll be throwing out some quotes that match up with each of the 14 members of Team Full Tilt. If time allows, I’ll keep digging deeper into our everlasting well of pros in future weeks. But for right now just sit back, relax and enjoy the show.

This first one goes out to Howard Lederer, courtesy of Homer and Lisa:

Homer: Are you saying you’re never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

For those of you who don’t know, Howard is a vegetarian. That’s right, a poker player who makes a living by feeding on fishes does not dig on swine, bovine, any form of bird or anything that swims in the ocean blue. But that doesn’t mean he won’t, as proven by his famous prop bet with David Grey where David bet Howard $10K that he wouldn’t eat a hamburger. Having morals is nice, but having $10K in your pocket is even better. Howard chowed down the burger without a moment’s hesitation − proving once and for all that the saying “you are what you eat” is nothing but a bunch of baloney.

Our next quote goes out to Phil Ivey, courtesy of Mr. Excellent himself, C. Montgomery Burns:

Mr. Burns: What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?

Now, we all now that Phil Ivey is rich. Filthy, stinking rich (which, of course, is the best kind of rich). When he’s not playing (and winning) the world’s biggest poker tournaments or sitting down for some $500/$1,000 PLO action on Full Tilt Poker, he’s sure to be found at the nearest casino plopping down a cool million to play craps or making an insane prop bet with one of his equally rich friends. Or maybe he’s just sweating the NBA finals hoping that the Lakers can somehow get out of the 3-1 hole that they’re in so he doesn’t lose the reported $2 million bet he has riding on the Lake Show to win it all. The point is that Ivey certainly has enough money to inspire fear and terror in his fellow players. But, what’s more important is that Ivey has an utter lack of regard for his money that very few people can match. That not only makes him feared, it makes him the most dangerous man in the game today.

Here’s a quote for Chris “Jesus” Ferguson, courtesy of Homer:

Homer: I’ve always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is − and it’s me.

Any man who dares take on the name of our lord and savior is surely not a man to be trifled with. Chris made a graceful transition from computer nerd to badass, trench coat wearing, Stetson studded cowboy with the nickname of a man who died for our sins. Believe you me, this is easier said than done. But as Ferguson’s track record in poker has shown, he is surely more than a mere mortal when it comes time to hit the felt. I bow to you and your eternal greatness Chris Ferguson, please forgive me for all of my sins against nature, humanity, and my ill-fated attempt to block out the sun (or was that from an episode of some TV show that I can’t remember at the moment? Oh well).

This next one goes out to John Juanda, courtesy of Ralph Wiggum:

Ralph: Me fail English? That’s unpossible.

This all-time classic Simpsons quote goes to one of our more linguistically challenged pros. I’m trying to tread carefully here, as to not offend any non-native speakers of our beautifully demented language. But let’s be honest – Juanda’s not about to be confused with Barack Obama any time soon. His loquacious elegance leaves just a little bit to be desired. Of course, none of this is really JJ’s fault – he can’t help the fact that he’s got that thick Eastern European accent.

Homer: Son, when a woman says nothing’s wrong, it means everything’s wrong. When a woman says everything’s wrong, it means everything’s wrong. And when a woman says that something isn’t funny, you’d better not laugh your ass off!

I always love when Homer gives Bart advice about women. In fact, everything that I know about women I learned from Homer Simpson. Maybe that’s why I don’t have a girlfriend, but that’s a story for another post. At any rate, this is the first of the quotes that I had to stretch to make it fit. Jen has always struck me as one of the more practical and sane women inhabiting this crazy world of poker. Maybe it’s because she’s been around for so long that nothing really gets to her, maybe she’s just immune to the plethora of shenanigans that constantly surround her, or maybe she’s just a really down to earth kind of gal. Whatever it is, I always got the feeling that you could break wind in front of her without it being a big deal. And that’s pretty much the number one characteristic I look for in a woman (other than breasts that are large enough to double as pillows, but that goes without saying).

Our next quote goes out to Phil Gordon, also courtesy of Homer:

Homer: I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

This quote goes out to a man so desperate to win that first WSOP bracelet that it’s painful to watch every time he gets close and can’t seal the deal. Phil takes a lot of crap on the internet boards, but he’s really a good guy who deserves that gold bracelet as much as anyone else. I have faith in you Phil; someday the crushing defeats will stop and the proverbial 800-pound gorilla that is Ned Flanders will be off your back.

This next quote is for Erick Lindgren, courtesy of Chief Wiggum:

Chief Wiggum: How do you like that, it’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purpose of gambling. 

Does anyone else think that if you approached Lindgren with this prop bet that he might just be crazy enough to take it? I might actually be more willing to let a squirrel run around in my boxers than shoot four rounds of golf (all under 100) in one day under the scorching Vegas sun. I’m not saying that I want to pull a Richard Gere or anything, but given those two choices, I’m gonna go with the squirrel nine times out of 10. I also suck at golf and can’t drive the ball past the Ladies’ tee on most occasions, but that’s a story for another post.

This one’s for Erik Seidel, courtesy of the man who dreams of a land of chocolate at all times:

Homer: I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.

Seidel always seems like he’s a bit out of place in the poker world. Maybe it’s because he’s more a member of the old school and just doesn’t jive with all these young punks, but it just seems like he should be trading stocks or something. All of which means absolutely nothing; Seidel is still one of the best tourney players on the circuit today and he’s been on a hell of a heater this year – he’s won a WPT title, placed second in the Aussie Millions, and final tabled an event at the WSOP. And the year’s not even half way over yet! He might be a stranger in a strange land, but Erik has never lost his sense of direction.

Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn’t, it’s that girls should stick to girls’ sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

Poor Clonie. What does a girl have to do to get some respect out there? Yes, we know that poker is a man’s world, but that certainly doesn’t mean there’s no room for former beauty queens, does it? Just like Phil Gordon, Clonie is another player who takes an inordinate amount of crap on the boards (2+2, why must you be so mean?). Some of it’s well deserved, most of it is just plain mean and spiteful. At any rate, I don’t think we’ll be seeing Clonie turn her attention to foxy boxing anytime soon, so all you haters out there need to chill out.

This next quote goes out to Andy Bloch, courtesy of fan favorite Professor Frink:

Professor Frink: Oh Dear, I’ve been RE-DORKULATED!

Has there ever been a cooler “dork” than Andy Bloch. This man has almost single-handedly convinced me to start learning the maths in an effort to improve my game. Of course, that will never happen due to my stifling fear of numbers, but a man can dream, can’t he? Dork on Andy, dork on…

And now for perhaps our best quote of the day, this one goes out to Mikey Matusow courtesy of Homer:

Homer: I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute.

Can anyone else picture this scenario somehow coming to fruition after Mikey’s recent bracelet victory at the WSOP in the Kansas City lowball event. I don’t want to go into any details about this potential scenario because it will most likely cause me to get into trouble (and I’m already on thin ice), but use your imagination people. After all, this is a man who willingly went on a date with Kathy Griffin (shudder). Enough said.

This next one goes out to the Wilt Chamberlain of poker, Gus Hansen, also courtesy of Homer (side note: Homer has an overwhelming number of the best quotes, it’s just not fair to the rest of the characters):

Homer: Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

Gus is definitely a man with the reputation of someone who needs to “drink” as many women as he possibly can. Some guys are just insatiable like that. I’m happy if I happen to get one “drink” a year, but once again, that’s a story for another post. Hansen is simply a machine, he just can’t (and won’t) be stopped. Fellas, if you see Gussy walking down the street, make sure to hold on extra tight to your gals. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Our next quote is for Clever Piggy, AKA Allen Cunningham, courtesy of Krusty the Clown:

Krusty: Thirty-five years in show business and already nobody remembers me. Just like what’s his name, and who’s-its, and you know, that guy, who always wore a shirt.

This quote is probably qualifies as the biggest stretch of the day, but please let me make my case before you jump to any conclusions and start labeling me as a failure. I’ve chosen this quote for Clever Piggy over several other better (and perhaps more apt) quotes because even after tearing through the poker world for the past few years, Allen still doesn’t get the credit or recognition that he deserves. Cunningham is right there on the same level as the Iveys, Fergusons and Hansens of the world. It’s not fair that he’s still known as you know, that guy, who always has that weird woman with him.

Our final quote of the day goes out to our newest member of Team Full Tilt, Patrik Antonius, courtesy of Rainier Wolfecastle:

Rainier: My new movie is me standing in front of a brick wall for 90 minutes. It cost 80 million dollars to make.
Jay Sherman: How do you sleep at night?
Rainier: On top of a pile of money, with many beautiful women.

OK, so this quote has relatively little to do with Antonius. But he’s gotta be feeling pretty on top of the world these days. He just signed a mega-deal with Full Tilt Poker, made a final table at the WSOP, and, oh yeah, he’s Patrik Fracken’ Antonius. I know many guys who would give their left nut to be in that guy’s shoes right now, me being one of them. I mean, this guy is so deep in the gene pool that there’s nothing left for the rest of us. All I can say in his defense is that at least he’s married and isn’t running around like Gussy “drinking” all the good stuff and leaving us mere mortals with nothing but Natty Ice. Not there’s anything wrong with a good Natty Ice every once in a while, but I don’t know a guy out there who doesn’t like to sample a nice Heineken or Sam Adams (then again, some guys strictly adhere to an all Fat Tire diet).

That’s all for this week, folks. It’s Friday and I feel the need for a nice “drink” coming on right about now. I’ll try to have part two of this post ready sometime in the next week or two, so keep an eye out for it if this is your kind of bag (and I know it is). Until then, I’ll leave you with one last quote. This one goes out to me, courtesy of Comic Book Guy:

Comic Book Guy: Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

Post from: Poker From The Rail

The Best of D’oh!

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