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July 08 2008
One Angry Monkey

Heads Up: Clonie Gowen Versus Thomas Wahlroos

Published on 13:38:14 on Apr 24, 2008
Posted by One Angry Monkey

Welcome back to another round of the Full Tilt Poker Heads-Up Challenge, where we take 64 of our top pros and see who can hula-hoop the longest. OK, not really, but that would be kind of cool, wouldn’t it? I must say that I’m completely disappointed at how we as a society have forgotten our hula-hoop roots, but that’s a story for a different post… This week’s match is our first four seed versus 13 seed adventure, with Clonie “Not a real cyclone” Gowen taking on Thomas “Not a real walrus” Wahlroos. This match has it all: action, adventure, sex, drugs, rock and roll, hula-hoops… Oh wait, we have none of that. Nuts to that, on to the showdown:

Category
Clonie Gowen

Thomas Wahlroos

Survey Says
Career Earnings

According to The Hendon Mob database, Clonie has just over $700K is career earnings. Although the Mob is hardly ever wrong, something feels off about this one. I’m going to put Clonie at around $1 million in career earnings, you know, cause I’m a nice guy and all.

Over $1 million in career earnings.

Well, the numbers don’t lie. Unless, of course, they’re some kind of super intelligent numbers with the capacity for the sort of devilish deceit known only to this brand of being that we call human. Which is the really long-winded way to say Wahlroos 1, Gowen 0.

Major Titles

None, unless you count winning the WPT Ladies’ Night event in 2003 as a “major title” (because we sure don’t).

Also nada de nada.

I thought about making this one a tie, but ties are just really boring. We’ll give Clonie a tenth of a major title point for her Ladies’ Night victory, thus tying (damn it!) the score at 1 apiece.

Tournament Play

Excellent tourney player – she’s got the skillz to pay the billz (cringing).

Although he’s just getting started in his poker career, Wahlroos has already proven he’s a force to be reckoned with in any tournament. Unfortunately, he’s also proven that he is not a real walrus.

This is another close call, but I’m going to have to go with Clonie on this one. She takes a lot of crap on the boards (this means you, 2+2) about not being a great player, but most of it is based on unfounded bull excrement. I’m sure there will be a day when Wahlroos passes her in this category, but for now it still belongs to Gowen.

Cash Game Play

Not right now, thanks.

Any time, any where.

Wahlroos makes his living as a cash game specialist, treating donkaments as freerolls after he’s made the buy-in playing in the side games. I could be wrong, but I don’t think Clonie is known as the strongest of cash game players. This has been the easiest category so far, Wahlroos evens the score at 2.

Best Game

No-Limit Hold ‘em

Pot-Limit Omahaha

Ah, Omahaha – the world’s funniest poker game. But I’m not laughing, that game really grinds my gears. You know what else grinds my gears? People who steal their comedy bits from Family Guy without giving them any credit – that shit is whack, yo. Needless to say (yet I’ll say it anyway), NL Hold ‘em is the only game that captures my heart, mind, and imagination (not my soul though, that belongs to Satan after I struck a deal with him for a lifetime supply of Ding-Dongs). Clonie takes the cake on this one; she leads by a score of 3-2.

Playing Style
Texas Two-Step

Finnish Fanaticism

You got me – this category was nothing but a clever ruse to convey the information that Clonie is a Texan (via Oklahoma) and Thomas is a Finn. Other than that, I’ve got nothing here people. Nothing! But, as a general rule, I tend to be frightened of people from Texas, so Wahlroos wins this one by default. Default, the two greatest words in the English language – woo hoo! The score is tied at 3 heading down the stretch.

Nickname

The Cyclone

The Walrus

As far as I know, neither of these players really have a nickname. But then again, our research department around here is actually comprised of two hamsters with little capacity for anything other than running around on those little wheels all day long, so we could be mistaken. At any rate, let’s give this one to Wahlroos, even though he’s not actually a real walrus.

Past Lives Pavilion

Former Miss Teen Oklahoma

Former banker

Hmmm, a beauty pageant winner or a banker. Which way do you think we’ll go with this one? I have the utmost respect for bankers because they handle money and do important crap and all, but give me that beauty queen any day of the week. The score is tied up at 4 heading to the final frame of action.

Outside Poker

Guest poker commentator, avid scuba diver, and plays the role of “mother” to her children.

Enjoys skydiving, snowboarding, and scuba diving – basically anything with the possibility of inflicting bodily harm on one’s self.

Most people think skydiving is cool – not me. Anyone who jumps out of a plane of their own volition loses some major sanity points in my book. I just don’t get all of these adrenaline junkies chasing their next big rush. You know what else gives you a big rush? Smoking crack (so I’m told). But that don’t mean I’m gonna run out and buy me a couple of rocks straight away. This one goes to Clonie, again by default. It appears that Wahlroos’ parachute failed to deploy in this category.

So that’s that – Clonie wins a close one by the score of 5-4. It’s too bad that Wahlroos loves to skydive and I have an extremely debilitating fear of both heights and flying, otherwise he might’ve pulled off the upset here. Check back next week for another round of thrilling, heart-pounding heads-up action which will involve absolutely no hula-hooping (be strong, stop shedding those tears). But you never know, perhaps the slinky will make its first appearance…



The Captain

The Pros Speak: On The Road

Published on 13:36:39 on Apr 01, 2008
Posted by The Captain

Everyone knows that the pros spend a load of time on the road. With tournaments all over the world, they clock a lot of air time and spend days or weeks moving between where ever it is that they call “home” and tournament destinations all over the world. As hectic as it may seem, most all of the good folks from Full Tilt Poker that we’ve spoken with have told us that they really enjoy that aspect of the lifestyle – it’s one of the perks of the job.

That said, everyone seems to have certain “necessities” that they don’t leave at home. Here's what the pros said they couldn't go on the road without:

When I’m traveling – for a tournament or just for fun – I can’t live without my blow-dryer, iPod, cell phone and charger, or my laptop.

I’ve always got my laptop and a cell phone.

I travel with a Mac laptop and an iPhone (best smartphone ever made, and I try them all). Since the iPhone doubles as a video iPod, I listen to podcasts, watch TV shows and movies, surf the internet, do email, etc. on this one little device. I also have something called a Slingbox, which sits at home and allows me to connect to my TiVo and cable TV signal remotely via my laptop. I recommend everyone who gets addicted to a show like Lost or Prison Break run out and get both a Slingbox and TiVo. Whenever I’m at the airport I pick up an issue of Wired Magazine for the plane – it’s my “road” reading.

Not much, really – just my iPhone and a few toiletries.
 

My laptop. I’ve got a wireless router that I can plug it into any modem outlet and use my laptop anywhere in the room – I’m always connected. I love most New York Times best seller novels, and I never travel without my iPod – I’ve got a very eclectic mix of music.

If I have my girlfriend with me, I’m all good. If I have my laptop as well, that’s a bonus.

I’m pretty low-maintenance, but I need my own shampoo and conditioner – I hate the hotel stuff!



The Captain

The Pros Speak: Clonie Gowen

Published on 11:12:51 on Jan 29, 2008
Posted by The Captain

Ever wonder about the Full Tilt Poker Pros? Sure, they play poker, but what else do they do? If you’ve ever been on Full Tilt Poker, you’ve probably read about them, Tips from the Pros, and articles covering their latest accomplishments. This is great stuff, but it doesn’t always give you a lot of insight to the people as individuals.

What are their personal thoughts on what’s happening in the world of poker – or what’s happening in the world in general? What else do they do? What are they into? In short, what are they like?

In The Pros Speak, we chat with the pros and find out what’s going on in their lives, ask their opinions, and get to know a little bit about the individuals. We deliver the goods from the pros – in their own words.

Find out a little bit more about the lives of the pros away from the table. Serious, humorous, or deliberately irreverent, The Pros Speak will bring you a personal perspective that you won’t get anywhere else.

First up to the plate is Clonie Gowen. Clonie is recognized as one of the finest women in poker today, both at and away from the table. She’s a media sweetheart and gets a lot of coverage, but once you get past the tournament at hand or her spread in Maxim, what’s she really think of it all?

Nice!

We were lucky enough to talk with Clonie about being on the road, time away from poker, and about anything that she was good enough to chat about. Here’s what she had to say:

What does “poker lifestyle” mean to you?

Making a living as a professional poker player, you spend most of your time on a plane and staying in hotels. Sure, when you travel the poker circuit you have friends which you have dinner with and go out with. But for the most part the lifestyle can make you miss out on the important things, like the family and friends you have back home. That said, I love my poker lifestyle, but I have the personality to handle it – a lot of people don’t. You can’t lose focus on having a life outside of poker. 

Does this mean that she plays poker just for fun sometimes?

NEVER! What’s the point? Fun is winning money. 

When you are away from poker, what do you do to relax?

I love to spend time with my family and hang out with friends. Being outdoors is great – I hike and mountain bike and really enjoy working on my yard. When I am at home, my favorite place is my bedroom. I love it because it is mine. I can get away from everything and everyone, read a good book, or watch a great movie. As with most poker players, I am very comfortable with alone time. 

Who’s the poker player you admire most?

I admire different people for different things, but I usually base it on how I see them as a friend. I admire Chris Ferguson for the kind of person he is. I’ve never met a true professional who can hide his emotions so well, yet still be an all-around great, humble person. I admire Linda Johnson, Robert Williamson, Mike Sexton, Phil Gordon, Eric Sidel, Andy Bloch – the list could go on and on. Each of these people has a quality that I recognize in myself or I hope to find within myself someday. 

Could you tell us a couple of things about yourself that people probably don’t know?

I’m learning to speak German and I’m a certified scuba diver with over 60 dives to date. I could eat sushi almost everyday. And I played "Dungeons & Dragons" when I was a teenager.



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