Yesterday’s $750,000 Guarantee attracted a nice field of 4,057 players and had a prize pool of more than $800K. A hearty round of congrats are in order for all of the players who took part in this enormous donkament (go ahead, pat yourselves on the back), but especially our winner syzygy-1-1-1-1, who can now afford to go on a nice little shopping spree with his newfound $143,285.13.

But the big story of the day had to be David Benyamine’s better half (much, much better), Erica “The Poker Babe” Schoenberg, making a deep run in the $750K Guarantee all the way to the final table. Unfortunately, Erica didn’t quite complete her mission and wound up being the first player eliminated from the final table. Don’t feel too bad for Ms. Schoenberg though, she took home more than $10K for her efforts – not a horrible return for a $200 investment. Brains, beauty, and poker skills to boot – she really is the complete package boys.

Meanwhile, there was some seriously sick action going down at the PLO ring-game tables yesterday. Team Full Tilt’s Patrik Antonius, Gus Hansen and John Juanda were joined at a $200/$400 PLO table by high-stakes regulars SteveSung, Pr1nnyraid and LoLiNa for some $20K flips. This was degeneracy at its finest folks – please do not try this at home.

JJ was the big winner for the session, taking home around $280K – a nice payday for one of the nicest guys in poker. LoLiNa also had a very nice session, ending the day up about $90K. I look forward to the day I can afford to take $20K flips, seems like it would be fun. Then again, I look forward to the day when I actually make at least $20K a year (target date: 2052).

The Madness strikes back as we wait for the return of the FTOPS…

Just a heads up for all the Tilters out there in Pokerland – as promised, we’re running another round of Sit & Go Madness this weekend. The fun kicks off on Friday, August 1^st at 14:00 ET and goes all the way through to Sunday, August 3^rd at 14:00. There’s more than $75K in cash and prizes up for grabs, so if you’re a SNG player or just like winning cash and prizes, this one’s for you.

We’re also rapidly approaching zero hour for FTOPS IX (or 9, for those of you not fluent in Roman numerals). The action gets going on Wednesday, August 6^th with Event #1, a $1 million guarantee NLHE donkament, and runs through Sunday, August 17^th when the $2.5 million guaranteed Main Event takes place. There’s more than $15 million guaranteed over the 25 events of this mammoth series, so please don’t miss out on a second of the best donkament action around.

That’s all for now folks. If you’re hankering for more of The Rail we’ll have some new Bond18 action up for you in a bit, and AlCantHang will return soon with another round of Bloggers On The Rail – make sure to check them both out. Have a good one…

Is the Happy Hour schedule going to stay the same forever, or are you guys going to mix it up any time soon?

While I’m not the resident Happy Hour guru around these parts (unless, of course, you’re talking about happy hour at your local bar), I have been hearing whispers about some impending changes to the schedule. Once again, please don’t quote me on this (if you do, I might get fired), but I’d say be on the lookout for perhaps some more game-specific Happy Hours in the near future. I know that we already have a Limit-specific Happy Hour, but we’ll probably take a foray into the Omahas, Studs and Mixed Games of the world fairly soon.

I can also say that we might or might not be planning a new promotion centered around Happy Hour, so stay tuned for more potential details on that potential debacle. I joke, I joke, I kid, I kid. We’ve absolutely never held a promotion that could be classified as a debacle. Fiasco, maybe. But debacle, never.

I was just watching the latest Poker After Dark, which was a cash game as opposed to the standard tournament format. Any chance they’ll be switching formats completely? I thought it worked so much better as a cash game.

Once again, I’m not the resident Poker After Dark expert around here, so I can only speak from my extremely limited knowledge. I also saw the Poker After Dark cash game and was extremely entertained. I mean, who doesn’t love watching Phil Hellmuth make a complete ass-hat of himself? And that kid Tom Dwan (Durrrr, to all you online fan-boys out there), man, can he play or what? He’s going to make himself a lot of money one of these days. What? He’s already made millions? Looks like it’s time for another crying jag for me…

In terms of whether or not they’ll be permanently switching formats, I seriously doubt it. I do know that there’s another cash game on the schedule for later in the year, but I really hope they don’t do away with the tournament format altogether. Cash games can often be fun to watch (with the right mix of players), but there’s no end-game to look forward to (other than making large piles of money to take home). I just feel like the tournament format provides a little more excitement than the cash game does. And you can take that statement to the bank (wincing)…

You’re welcome my son. I take my duties as Jesus very seriously.

God complex aside, yes, FTOPS IX is almost here. Satellites are running, the last few pro hosts are being confirmed, and we’re all ready to rock and/or roll. Let the donkaments begin! Seriously though, it almost feels like Christmas around here. We all get so giddy and excited, we’re like a bunch of five-year-olds waiting to unwrap their presents. The fun begins on August 6^th, don’t miss out.

That’s it for now folks. Until next week…

• FTOPS IX: that’s right baby, FTOPS is back! 25 events, more than $15 million guaranteed – that pretty much says it all. If you can’t get excited about this then you really need to get your head checked. This truly is online donkament play at its finest. The action kicks off on August 6^th, please don’t miss out.
• Big Money Sundays: more awesome donkament action at Full Tilt Poker. There’s over $1 million in prize money up for grabs every Sunday with the Sunday Brawl, $750K Guarantee and Sunday Mulligan. This Sunday the $750K gets replaced with the monthly $1 Million Guarantee, so there’s even more prize money to be had.
• Happy Hour: earn twice the Full Tilt Points simply by playing in your favorite games. Whenever you see the smiley face in the game lobby that means Happy Hour is on. Come on people, who doesn’t love to get free stuff just for doing the same old thing? Use those extra points to get great gear from the Full Tilt Store. Doggy tank-top anyone?
• The Iron Man Challenge: my all time favorite promotion. It’s a bit on the complicated side, so let me summarize for you – the more you play, the more you get. Earn Iron Man Medals to use in the Iron Man Store, get entry to Freerolls and the chance to win up to $100K. This one is for players who really want to commit themselves to the game, and it’s really a great reward for showing that dedication.

We’ve also got a few great promos coming up that haven’t been officially announced as of yet, but let me give you a quick sneak peak. For all you SNG fiends out there, another round of Sit & Go Madness is coming up very soon, so stay tuned for all the details on that one. And for all the Patrik Antonius fans out there, we have a couple of great promos in the works involving Team Full Tilt’s newest member. Details on all of our new promotions will be coming soon.

That’s it for now folks. A hearty thanks goes out to all the Tilters out there who help make this the best place to play online poker. Have a great weekend pokerland…

What’s the deal with the lack of big name pros with big stacks at the Main Event this year? I thought this was supposed to be the year of the pro?

If anyone’s been reading Wicked Chops recently, they know that the term “Year of the Pro” has been trademarked by those wacky bastards. So, to avoid the risk of getting into any legal troubles, let’s just refer to it as the Year the Pros Did Better Than the Previous Few Years (YPDBTPFY, for short).

With that little caveat aside, let me feebly attempt to answer this daunting question. The short answer would simply be variance. The pros have been running well in the Series thus far, but that can’t last forever. Plus, the epic size of this year’s field (the second largest in Main Event history), means that the sea of donkyfish (thank you for that one Pauly) is much harder to navigate. Every player is a landmine, and your ass risks getting blown up whenever you attempt to step on one of them. Then again, the $9 million first-place prize is certainly worth the risk of losing a few limbs.

We’re also still fairly early in the proceedings. I have no doubts that a few pros will build a big stack over the next few days and we will once again be discussing whether or not this truly is the year of the pro. Whoops, I meant the YPDBTPFY. Please don’t sue me Chops, I’m ever so insignificant…

Do you ever get the feeling that someone’s watching you? I’m not paranoid or anything, but I think they’re spying on me…

Let’s just file this one under “Why drugs are bad” and move on…

Hello, my name is Svetlana, your new mail order bride. Thank you for your purchase, I look forward to seeing you very soon.

Whoops, don’t know how that one got in there. I must’ve been looking at the wrong inbox…

I just saw that the FTOPS IX schedule has been released, why does it pretty much look the same as the last FTOPS?

Why mess with success. If something ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Yada, yada, yada. If you don’t like it, go play on somewhere else…

(Editor’s note: please disregard the preceding paragraph. One Angry Monkey is obviously high on whatever fumes he’s been huffing today. We would like you to know that we do our best to provide an FTOPS schedule that’s appealing to as many of our players as possible. Full Tilt Poker – we care a lot!)

Until next week…

To the winners of events 10-18, a hardy round of congratulations is in order. Winning a large donkament is no small task, so I give my salute to all of you. Of course, what I’m really doing is cursing you all under my breath because jealously has overwhelmed my system and turned me into some kind of raging hulk-like being. But nevertheless, congrats! Here are the winners and their winnings from events 10-18:

Event #10: lilkimmer77 - $51,165

Event #11: Halfrek - $342,495

Event #12: DaEvils - $104,696

Event #13: the aviator1 - $70,381.65

Event #14: dud711 - $87,290.60

Event #15: Siggen - $42,872

Event #16: stuckmyass - $236,188.80

Event #17: OUSOONERS24 - $45,290

Event #18: eagle1829 - $38,749.50 

Never mind winning one of these things, it’s hard enough just to make the final table of any FTOPS donkament. So it goes without saying that making two final tables during any FTOPS must be damn near impossible – think again. We’ve had four players make at least two final tables during FTOPS VIII, so they must be doing something right. Or just getting incredibly lucky (so says the jealousy and bitterness coursing through my veins). Here are those players who should have no problem paying their rent on time for at least the next few months:

whothedonk: Event #1 (for the win) and Event #10

xqsays: Event #9 and Event #16

Madame Maria: Event #10 and Event #12

hamazriya: Event #10 and Event #15

As you can see, the final table for Event #10 was loaded with three of the four multi final-table finishers. Whatever cereal those guys are eating for breakfast, I want in on it.

In a completely unrelated yet somehow relatable shout out, I feel the need to give some love to past FTOPS winners who found themselves at a final table during FTOPS VIII. So Klausen, SmokinOkun, mishiefofmagic, and Kavin86 – this one’s for you guys. Somebody once told me it’s better to run good at life and bad at poker, but screw that. I’d give up my job, my imaginary girlfriend, and my ’86 Honda Civic for the chance to make an FTOPS final table. OK, maybe not the Civic…

In a development as stunning as the weird growth bulging from the side of my neck, two (yes, two!) red Full Tilt Poker pros made the final table of Event #18, the Razz tourney. Both Jens Voertmann and Marco Traniello (aka, Mr. Jen Harman) low-balled their way to the final table, and then promptly were the first two players knocked out. Fear not though, as both players have even more piles of cash to bath in now, as Voertmann took home almost $2,500 and Traniello just over $3,500. Not mind blowing numbers by any means, but enough to get a nice haircut.

As for our other pros, Berry Johnston and Scott Fischman continue to lead the charge. Both have numerous FTOPS cashes and are ranked in the top 20 of the FTOPS VIII Leaderboard. Speaking of which…

They call it a Leaderboard, but I’ve never seen it lead…

The race is on for the top spot on the Leaderboard, and the competition is fierce heading down the homestretch. The top five players are all within 43 points of each other, with Tridynamo leading the way with 339 points. Not surprisingly, xqsays and whothedonk rank second and third and are only a few points behind Tridynamo. The winner will receive their very own personalized avatar, which is not as good as money, but perhaps slightly better than a swift kick to the crotch. I joke, I joke. Of course, some people actually pay money to get kicked in the crotch on a regular basis. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

That’s all for right now. It’s Friday and the only thing on my mind are a few nice pints at the pub and Event #19, a good old fashioned vanilla flavored $200 + $16 NLH tourney. Check back on Monday for my final FTOPS recap, which promises to be filled with large sums of astronomical figures and even more snide and untimely comments. Good luck to all the participants of the final six FTOPS events, have a great weekend…

What is variance and why does it feel like it’s coming to get me?

Variance is a cruel bitch-goddess with no remorse and the taste of blood in her mouth. You don’t mess with variance because variance will eat you alive. Perhaps the only thing in existence that’s harder than Chuck Norris is variance. This shit is that real.

So here’s the deal: sometimes you run good, sometimes you run bad, most of the time you’re smack dab in the middle of those two extremes. Variance is simply the harsh reality of not being able to run good all the time. On the flip side, variance is also there to make sure that you don’t run bad all the time either. It’s a balancing act to ensure that the odds and outs of the universe stay harmonized so that all of us poker degenerates can live in peace and harmony. Trippy, huh?

So no, variance is not out to get you. It is simply a part of the game - one that must be acknowledged and dealt with on a regular basis. If you can’t handle the ups and downs, the highs and lows, then it’s time to get off this wild ride that we call poker and find yourself a new game to play.

I’m relatively new to online poker, but I’d say this is something I’m trying to take seriously. I’m still playing the micro-stakes, so obviously I’m not going to be making a living off of this anytime soon, but I was wondering how many hours a day you recommend playing so that I can really start building up my bankroll.

I guess the answer to this one depends on how much time you have in your day to start with. Do you have a full time job? A wife or girlfriend? Hell, do you have any friends at all? If the answer to any of these questions is yes (especially the first question), then you’re not going to have too much time everyday to commit to playing poker.

Personally, I have a job that takes up a good portion of my day. Outside of my job though, I’d say that poker is my number one priority (cue sad, depressing music). I’m in the process of building up a nice bankroll, so I try and put in at least two hours of play every night. Sometimes it’s more, sometimes it’s less, but I always try and get a little playing time in each day so I stay sharp and know which direction the poker gods are pointing me in.

Now, if you have no job and, well, no life either, then you can afford to commit a good deal more of your time to poker. And at that point it’s simply a matter of how long you can stand staring at the screen without going crazy. I’ve known people who could sit down at their computer and go for an epic session of eight hours or more without blinking once. Some other people prefer to do two-hour sessions at a time, take a break for at least an hour or two, and then sit back down at their computers for another session. Lather, rinse, repeat. It’s really all up to you and what you’re comfortable with. I’d probably go crazy if I did an eight hour session with no breaks, but then again I have the attention span of a hamster who forgot to take his Ritalin. Maybe I should have that checked out…

Do you have any suggestions on what to do with my FTPs if I don’t feel like buying anything from the store?

First off, let me do my corporate duty and say that there really is a lot of cool stuff available in the Full Tilt Store (doggy tank top, anyone?), so go check it out and find yourself some good gear.

Now, if you insist on using your Full Tilt Points for something else, it of course depends on how many you have. If you only have a few FTPs, I’d recommend playing in one of the 15, 20, or 50 point SNGs in hope of winning your way into a bigger points event. If you’re good enough to win one of those, you actually have the option of unregistering from whichever event you’ve satellited in to and getting the points back.

Once you’ve done that (or already had enough points to begin with), I strongly endorse playing in the 1,800 FTP SNGs where the top three finishers get a $26 satellite token. These SNGs tend to be pretty soft since most players treat them like a Freeroll (as they should), so getting to the final three is truly not that difficult. Basically, if I can do it, so can you. Until next week…

Winning isn’t everything, but losing is for losers.

Here’s to all nine of our FTOPS winners so far – congratulations on a job well done. May you use your newfound pocket change to buy a little piece of happiness for yourselves, or at least avoid donking off all your winnings to Phil Ivey on the high-stakes tables. In no particular order, here are the winners and their winnings from events one through nine:

Event #1: the guru 11 - $158,852.23

Event #2: whothedonk - $48,150

Event #3: BOP B 3AKOHE 1 - $76,545

Event #4: EMSBas - $48,420

Event #5: voguepergola - $27,735

Event #6: mmmadd - $68,477.50

Event #7: jornx - $102,249.50

Event #8: GoToChurch - $51,200

Event #9: _FlaXmar Z_ - $263,438.04

Is a shootout really a shootout if there are no guns involved?

The arrival of FTOPS VIII has surprisingly coincided with the launch of our new shootout tournament feature. We’ve had two FTOPS shootout tourneys so far – Event #3 was a 3X full table shootout that maxed out at 729 players. That meant that the winner had to take down three full tables in a row to win the top prize.

Event #8 was a heads-up shootout with 512 players in the running, meaning the winner had to take down nine heads-up matches to capture the crown. If you want to get in on all the excitement that shootout tourney action has to offer, we still have one more FTOPS shootout on the schedule – look for Event #17 on Thursday, May 15^th at 14:00 ET. And please people; leave your guns at home. Remember that guns don’t kill people, coolers do…

A screen name can say a lot about what kind of player you are. With that in mind, I’d like to take the time to point out a couple of the winning screen names so far. I mean, is anybody surprised that a player named whothedonk took down Event #2, a PLO KO tourney? PLO is the game of donk champions, and when you add the knockout factor into that mix you better watch out. That’s what we call suck out city, baby! (Pardon me; I seem to have channelled Dick Vitale momentarily.)

In other surprising news, Event #9 (a HU shootout tourney) was won by a player named GoToChurch. That one seems spot on, as you’d have to do a lot of praying to win nine straight heads-up matches. I’m not a religious person, but I might have to sign up at the Church of Jerry Yang if it means that I might someday win myself a donkament of such prolific proportions.

To all the Full Tilt Pros out there, keep up the good work. Being highlighted in red makes you a target to every donk near and far, especially with that extra bounty placed upon your cartoon avatar heads. But it should come as no surprise that the pros are making a strong showing at this FTOPS. We have yet to have a repeat of the feat Erick Lindgren pulled off in FTOPS VII when he won his own event, but we’ve got plenty of events to go.

Speaking of E-Dog, he’s having another strong run this FTOPS, as he’s had the highest pro finish in two of the nine events thus far. But the title of pro MVP so far has got to be Scott Fischman. The Fish Tank has had three top pro finishes so far and is ranked 10^th on the FTOPS VIII Leaderboard. Hey, maybe he’ll win a custom avatar. Oh wait, he already has one. That sucks for him.

We’ve only had one pro make a final table so far, as Berry Johnston took fourth in Event #4, a Stud Hi/Lo tourney. They say that Stud is an old man’s game, and I guess they’re right (whoever the hell they may be). I’m not saying that Johnston is old, but rumor has it he was playing cards with Doc Holliday back in the day. I joke, I joke, I kid, I kid. Johnston is one of the classier players remaining in the game today, a throwback to the old school when playing cards was done properly. Congrats on a great run, Berry.

Congratulations, you’ve won a free entry into the Bouncebackability Freeroll!

To all the bubble boys out there – ouch, I’m sorry man. There’s no way to take the sting out of just missing the money in a major tourney such as the ones we provide during FTOPS. On the bright side, you do get to play in the Bouncebackability Freeroll for a shot at winning a seat to this year’s WSOP Main Event. So you’ve got that going for you. Here’s the list of all the awe inspiring bubble boys, we feel your pain:

Event #1: CrazyMonkey13 (no relation to One Angry Monkey, thank god)

Event #2: skjervoy

Event #3: todaywewin (then again, there’s always tomorrow)

Event #4: Fluke_2001

Event #5: KCBlitzz

Event #6: 1sneaky (but not sneaky enough)

Event #7: Stuart Patterson (a pro as bubble boy, inconceivable!)

Event # 8: 2mints

Event #9: CHARLES OAKLEY (my all time favorite Knick, a man with elbows so sharp they could poke your eyes out)

One final note as I do my corporate duty for the day. We’ve put together some pretty cool video highlights from each FTOPS final table with commentary by Poker After Dark’s Ali Nejad. Check them out if you want to see all the action for yourself.

That’s it for now, I’ll be back on Thursday with some more FTOPS related madness, so be sure to check back then. As for me, I’m back to daydreaming about having enough money to buy-in to tonight’s $1K NLH tourney, but let’s get real – that ain’t never gonna happen. I’ll now be crying myself to sleep on my extra large pillow…

There are a lot of events in FTOPS VIII. Do you think it’s possible to play every single one?

Sure. I’m not a mathematician but if there are 24 events over 12 days with four limit events, then it’s just a simple matter of dividing your starting stack by the length of time it takes for an average hand to the power of infinity, plus the time it takes for you to stop kicking yourself in the head for playing a limit tourney. 

OK, maybe it’s a little bit more complicated than I thought. The real question you should be asking though is can you play every FTOPS event and play it well? Apparently staying up for 24 hours straight is equivalent to having a blood alcohol concentration of 0.05. This would put you on par with the One Angry Monkey, but is probably not conducive to playing your best poker. Plan ahead, pick the events you want to play (or the events you can play) and good luck!

Why is Razz so stupid? Who on earth would make a game where the worst hand wins?

Hold your horses right there tiger (I’m going with an animal theme today). The great thing about having so many different poker games is that there’s something for everyone. Most regular normal folk like good old No-Limit Texas Hold ‘Em. Action junkies might go for Pot-Limit Omaha. Librarians would go for Limit tournaments. And pure sadomasochists enjoy playing Razz.

Ridiculous generalizations aside, sometimes it’s nice to play a game where everyone is as bad as you – which actually in this instance makes you good… wait I’m confused. As an aside, I’ve actually heard that our own Big Donkey is quite a fan of the game seeing as it allows him to legitimately play most starting hands with a 7 and a 2 in them. Did that answer your question? No? Oh well.

I know I asked this last time but what the hell is with the return of the Bouncebackability Freeroll? Are you guys still high on crack?

Just in case it hasn’t popped up in casual conversation, the Bouncebackability Freeroll is a special Freeroll for those poor people who finish on the bubble in any FTOPS event. Finishing one place outside the money in any tournament is tough – but can you imagine finishing on the bubble in a tournament that you received an entry to because you finished on the bubble?

As for the name, few can say it, none of us comprehend it and we all fear to type it, but the Bouncebackability Freeroll will remain as the legacy of one great man. A man whose footsteps we fear to tread in, lest we be accused of coming up with promotion names by drawing random words out of a hat.

As my fellow scribe One Angry Monkey said, “Some ideas are good, some ideas are great. But the Bouncebackability Freeroll was simply sheer genius.”

What happens to the money in my account if I die? And more to the point, what if I die in the middle of a hand?

There’s nothing like a morbid question to start the day off right. Now, I’ve been accused by some of my colleagues of being overly sarcastic in answering some of these questions, so I’m going to try and answer this question without a hint of sarcasm.

What would happen if you died mid-hand? Who gives a crap? You’re already dead. If you journey on to the afterlife and are worried about what happened in the last hand of poker you were playing, this is a sign that your priorities are just slightly out of whack. I’m of the mindset that there are very few things in this life that take precedence over poker, but death is probably on that short list. Other things more important than poker: having a nice pint of the black stuff everyday after work, making sure you put on a clean pair of skivvies each morning (unless you’re like The Captain and prefer to go Commando), putting a bib on The All-In-Uit to collect the drool anytime she’s looking at a picture of Patrik Antonius, and remembering to switch out Big Donkey’s vitamin collection with the appropriate anti-depressants so he doesn’t lose that happy feeling he’s had going for him lately.

As for what actually happens to the money in your account if you die, I’m not too sure on that one. I’m going to assume it involves a fair amount of legal-ese and somehow winds up getting passed on to your family. You know, cause we’re nice like that.

So I was absolutely pwning a $.25/$.50 NL table the other night when I realized it was actually a play money table. Is there anyway I can get my winnings turned into real money?

(Shaking head vigorously.)

I registered for a tourney the other night that I thought was No-Limit, but it turned out to be a Limit tourney. Can I have my money back?

(Quietly sobbing.) 

I just noticed that FTOPS VIII is coming soon. Are you planning on playing in any events?

Ah, it feels good to have a question I can answer with a straight face. As of this moment, I’m trying my best to follow Chris Ferguson’s bankroll management rules, which means no buying into any MTTs for more than 2% of my total bankroll. Needless to say, it looks like I’ll have to stick with the $1 donkaments for a while longer. I will be trying my best to satellite into a few of the FTOPS events, but with the implementation of T$s on the site I’m more likely to unregister from any tourney I win an entry to than actually play in it.

With all that said, here are a few of the events I’d love to play in if they started paying me in Canadian Dollars rather than Pesos. Put me on the list for Events #9, #11, #16, #21, and the Main Event. And yes, if you noticed that all of these events have at least $1 million in guaranteed prize money, you win a prize (editor’s note: no prizes will be given, One Angry Monkey must be drunk again). I’d also love to play in Event #14, a turbo NL Hold ‘em tourney hosted by Mandy B, if only for the possibility that I’d end up at the same table as her and be able to serenade her with my rendition of “Oh Mandy.” Barry Manilow ain’t got nothing on me – that guy is a freak and a very weird dude IMO…

Why isn't Dan Harrington a member of Team Full Tilt, and do you think he likes roast beef sandwiches?

This question frightened every one in the office to their very core. Last week it was Lee Watkinson that “The Chi” was obsessing with, and that was scary. But at least it had something to do with poker. If possible, this Dan Harrington fascination is even more disturbing. I’m not sure that I’ll ever be able to look at a roast beef sandwich without a chill running up my spine.

Deli cuisine aside, I’ll try and answer this question the best that I can. Harrington is more than worthy of consideration for Team Full Tilt; he’s certainly a fine poker player. There are many great pros who don’t belong to Full Tilt Poker’s stable of pros for a variety of reasons. They either have other obligations already or just aren’t interested in online poker in general. Or maybe we don’t want them (just kidding, we’ll take whoever we can sink our claws into).

Whatever the reason may be, the point is this: Chi, put down the sandwich and get a grip. You need to get a life and leave these poor poker pros alone, stat…

At first I didn't like the avatars, but they've grown on me. Any chance that we can make custom avatars in the future?

Ah, a question that I can answer without resorting to childish name calling and snide comments! You actually can get yourself a custom avatar from the Full Tilt Store for a mere one million Full Tilt Points. So start saving up those FTPs today and you could have your very own avatar sometime in the next 50 years.

Sometimes the railbird chatter is hilarious, especially during FTOPS events. What are some of your favorites?

A poor soul who used to work here and get pwned playing online on a regular basis once typed this classic into the chat box: “I'm so unlucky, if I opened a cemetery, nobody would die.”

Our other favorites include: “How the hell could you play that hand, you no talent ass clown.”

And finally, the comment I use every time that I get sucked out on: “Nice hand, well played. Asshole…”