What is variance and why does it feel like it’s coming to get me?

Variance is a cruel bitch-goddess with no remorse and the taste of blood in her mouth. You don’t mess with variance because variance will eat you alive. Perhaps the only thing in existence that’s harder than Chuck Norris is variance. This shit is that real.

So here’s the deal: sometimes you run good, sometimes you run bad, most of the time you’re smack dab in the middle of those two extremes. Variance is simply the harsh reality of not being able to run good all the time. On the flip side, variance is also there to make sure that you don’t run bad all the time either. It’s a balancing act to ensure that the odds and outs of the universe stay harmonized so that all of us poker degenerates can live in peace and harmony. Trippy, huh?

So no, variance is not out to get you. It is simply a part of the game - one that must be acknowledged and dealt with on a regular basis. If you can’t handle the ups and downs, the highs and lows, then it’s time to get off this wild ride that we call poker and find yourself a new game to play.

I’m relatively new to online poker, but I’d say this is something I’m trying to take seriously. I’m still playing the micro-stakes, so obviously I’m not going to be making a living off of this anytime soon, but I was wondering how many hours a day you recommend playing so that I can really start building up my bankroll.

I guess the answer to this one depends on how much time you have in your day to start with. Do you have a full time job? A wife or girlfriend? Hell, do you have any friends at all? If the answer to any of these questions is yes (especially the first question), then you’re not going to have too much time everyday to commit to playing poker.

Personally, I have a job that takes up a good portion of my day. Outside of my job though, I’d say that poker is my number one priority (cue sad, depressing music). I’m in the process of building up a nice bankroll, so I try and put in at least two hours of play every night. Sometimes it’s more, sometimes it’s less, but I always try and get a little playing time in each day so I stay sharp and know which direction the poker gods are pointing me in.

Now, if you have no job and, well, no life either, then you can afford to commit a good deal more of your time to poker. And at that point it’s simply a matter of how long you can stand staring at the screen without going crazy. I’ve known people who could sit down at their computer and go for an epic session of eight hours or more without blinking once. Some other people prefer to do two-hour sessions at a time, take a break for at least an hour or two, and then sit back down at their computers for another session. Lather, rinse, repeat. It’s really all up to you and what you’re comfortable with. I’d probably go crazy if I did an eight hour session with no breaks, but then again I have the attention span of a hamster who forgot to take his Ritalin. Maybe I should have that checked out…

Do you have any suggestions on what to do with my FTPs if I don’t feel like buying anything from the store?

First off, let me do my corporate duty and say that there really is a lot of cool stuff available in the Full Tilt Store (doggy tank top, anyone?), so go check it out and find yourself some good gear.

Now, if you insist on using your Full Tilt Points for something else, it of course depends on how many you have. If you only have a few FTPs, I’d recommend playing in one of the 15, 20, or 50 point SNGs in hope of winning your way into a bigger points event. If you’re good enough to win one of those, you actually have the option of unregistering from whichever event you’ve satellited in to and getting the points back.

Once you’ve done that (or already had enough points to begin with), I strongly endorse playing in the 1,800 FTP SNGs where the top three finishers get a $26 satellite token. These SNGs tend to be pretty soft since most players treat them like a Freeroll (as they should), so getting to the final three is truly not that difficult. Basically, if I can do it, so can you. Until next week…